Girls trip

I'm not very social.  I usually joke that "I don't like people."  While that's got a hint of truth to it, I think it's probably more fair to say that I am very choosy about the time I spend with people I didn't marry or give birth to.  I figure, I am away from my family for at least 40 hours a week.  Toss in the fact that two of my kids spend about half of their time with their dad, and my waking hours just got that much more precious.  Hubby and I need time--I learned a long time ago how important that is, so this means I am very reluctant to use the rest of my time with other people--no matter how much I like them.

Today was an exception.  My husband is one of five kids--he has three brothers and one sister.  His older brother (one of my high school best friends whom I met at age 8) married a girl from our high school who I really like, and his youngest brother just got married a little over a year ago to a sweet girl we all enjoy.  His sister was a year behind me in school, and she is one of the most loyal, good-hearted people I have ever known.  Years ago, we started a tradition of a girls day in Seattle to do some Christmas shopping.  We did it for a few years, but for one reason or another, we didn't go for the last five years or so.  We decided that it would be a good idea to go this year and today was the day.  We talked non-stop all the way to the mall--the trip felt like it took about 20 minutes.  We had a great time looking in all the shops, and laughed and shared all through our lunch.  It was a really good reminder to me of something I hadn't necessarily forgotten, but had lost track of, and it is this:  I love these women.  They are my family, they love all the same people that I do, and they mean the world to me.  We vowed to make this more of a priority and are going to try to work something in our schedule for spring.  It was a good day.

Okay, mushy stuff over--now let's talk about running.  I have made a decision:  I am going to do a half-marathon this summer.  I found a 12-week training program, and decided I would give it a try.  But since I'm kind of a weenie, I'm going to stretch it over 24 - 30 weeks instead.  I put a lot of effort into being a beast, but even after more than a year at this, I usually want to die about 2 1/2 miles in.  So wish me luck because now that I have said it out loud and put it in print, it's going to happen.  I'll keep you posted.

Dual Citizenship?

My husband and I ran away to Vancouver this weekend.  It was only a day, and it rained most of the time, but something about that city just...I almost said "rejuvinates" me, but that word has been ruined by a certain surgery and no longer applies in my vocabulary.  We had fun.  How's that?  I know it seems like we have been travelling a lot lately, and well...we have.  But we don't have a boat, we don't ski, we don't do much but watch football, Real Housewives, and do laundry so when the planets align and we get some time away without kid responsibilities, we go for it.  Plus, there is something very appealing about a weekend away without cell service.  We make eye contact.  We complete sentences!

I had a meeting on Saturday afternoon (I know--that's just WRONG on so many levels) so BR picked me up when it was done and we scooted on up across the border.  After the horrific shooting last week, we weren't sure what kind of delay we would have, but we only sat there for 5 minutes while I praised these men and women for coming to work when I would just want to pull the covers over my head and never go to work again.

We have a few rituals.  They are silly, but we ooze silly.  When we get to Surrey, we always say "Surrey" 3 or 4 times like we are apologizing with a Canadian "accent".  When we get to Granville St., BR likes to drive in the right lane as close to the lamp posts as possible which freaks me the F out.  When we get into town and start driving through the shops, I like to press my face against the window and lick the glass in anticipation of shopping.  Okay, that last one is a lie--I just do that in my head.

We stayed at a new place this time.  It was close to the stadium and not as deluxe as we usually score for cheap on Hotwire/Priceline, but safely out of the hobo/rent by the hour range and the soap was hermetically sealed so we were good.  We like to hit our favorite haunts, but we were in a different neighborhood than usual so we went someplace new for our first stop.  The following is a list of our favorite Vancouver spots.  This list is in no particular order, and I would like to stress that it took us 3 years to find these places, this is in NO WAY a representation of one night's crawl or I would be
D-E-D.  (spelling intentional)

Joey's on Burrard : (not to be confused with Joey's Bentall One which is kind of lame) Friday night is full of desperate 20 year olds and techno--Saturday night is cool.  Their Panang Curry, Rainbow Roll, and Sliders are favorites. 

Steamworks Brew Pub : Do yourself a favor and follow the link.  There is also a Steamworks Men's Bathhouse and you DO NOT want to open that website on accident.  This place has a great atmosphere, and their Dry Ribs, Fish Tacos and Nirvana Nut Brown Ale are pretty dang good.  Sit in the bar if you can.

Chill Winston : I'm pretty sure we aren't cool enough to go here, but they keep letting us in.  Have a glass of Blanche du Chambly, and the meat and cheese plate is always interesting (home of the musk ox).  Plus, check out the co-ed bathrooms.  Seriously.

Guilt and Co. : Located in the basement (read: cave) below Chill Winston, this place isn't big on food, but has a great bar, live music, and largest running Jenga game I've ever seen.  Plus, again--
co-ed bathrooms.

The Alibi Room : I almost didn't put this one because the night we were there, we didn't love it.  However, it get's rave reviews, featured on Zane Lamprey's show (and we luuuuurve him) and every time we ask our waiter for a recommendation, this is where they tell us to go.  We will try it again next time.

The Revel Room : Again, almost didn't list it due to the horrific service.  We showed up at 6:30 and after being ignored, the waitress finally agreed to seat us even though they had a party coming in at 8:00.  That being said, they had a really girlie drink called the Southern Belle that was more food than drink and quite yummy.

The Beaver and Mullet : Because you HAVE to go to a place with this name.  We stumbled across them for brunch one weekend.  We got inside and ordered their breakfast poutine and my life has not been the same since.  Plus, Ceasars.  That is all.

The Donnelly Group : I have to give a little shout out to this group.  They have multiple locations in Vancouver and seem to know how to tap into the neighborhood and create a place that reflects the vibe outside.  They are clean, the staff is always polite, and they have great appetizers.  We have never been to their nightclubs or "cocktail rooms" but the Public Houses are great.  Heck, they even have a cool barber shop.

We also like to shop.  No list necessary here.  Just hit Robson Street...and Granville St...and Granville Island...Just Go.  You can't really go wrong.

Around 3:30 on Sunday, we gave a deep sigh and realized we should probably go home to start preparing for the week.  We made it about 10 miles before we had our calendars out and were planning our next trip up there.  Vancouver rocks, eh?

Me-Hi-Co

Hubby and I just returned from a week in Mexico.  Everybody close your eyes, take a deep breath, and RELAAAAAAAAXXXX.  Yep.  That's how it felt for an entire week.  It was dee-lightful and I highly recommend it.  We stayed at the Riu Palace in Cabo and while they aren't paying me for this endorsement, they probably should because I am gonna lay it on THICK.  I should start at the beginning though...the airport.  SCARY.  I am really thankful that my husband and I had both done some research so we were prepared.  We did the whole line for customs thing, and it was really harmless, the lady smiled at us, asked us something super easy like "What did you have for lunch?" and stamped our passports.  Our bags were lined up and waiting for us, we went through a metal detector, and then we turned the corner of no return.  Literally, 25 people approached us in the course of a 50 foot walk to the door in an attempt to sell us time shares.  They didn't say, "Would you like a time share?"...no.  They pretended to be our ride to the resort, they told my husband he was going the wrong way, they tried to grab my paperwork out of my hands, they said they needed signatures...it was crazy.  If they had cameras, it would have been like what I imagine a trip to Spago is for Jennifer Aniston on a date. (does anyone go to Spago anymore, or just tourists in Ceasars Palace?).  We were cool (hubby wants to mess with them next trip--I say no), we made it to the doors where our airport transfer driver was waiting next to not one, but TWO bars with beer and margaritas.  I love Mexico.

We got to the resort:

 

and were greeted with some rum punch drinks, given our keys and some dinner reservations for the specialty restaurants.  I'm glad they did this at check-in because we were far too lazy to get up at the required 7:00am time to get reservations for the rest of the week.  Forget that noise--this is vacation! The first thing we noticed is how CLEAN this place is.  They have a huge staff and they are always cleaning something.  Everyone was very welcoming--not obnoxious and fake--genuinely nice and ready to help.  Our room down an open hallway and we were very pleased when we opened the door:  The woodwork was beautiful, our view was awesome, and then there was this little goodie:

Yes, our room had an alcohol dispenser.  I wish I could say we put it to good use, but neither of us drink hard alcohol.  It was neat, but sadly wasted on the two of us.  We had our swimsuits on in about 3 seconds and headed out to the pool. 

 

...where we stayed for the next week.  I kid you not.  The biggest decision we made all week was pool or beach, followed by sun or shade.  We laughed, we made eye contact and finished sentences, and I read 4 books that week.  We made friends with Cristobel--the waiter at the pool, and Miguel, the poor kid who worked in the lobby bar who was deported from an electrician job in North Carolina and can't see his daughter.  I only used my strightener once, and wore all my dresses and cute shoes.

 

We had massages on the beach, and ventured into Cabo a few times.  Checked out their mall (the restrooms are pretty impressive, I kid you not!) and ate at some of the restaurants in the marina.  We paid more than cover price for some paperbacks at the scariest drugstore I have ever been in.  Seriously, I wouldn't buy a pen from this place but we were desperate for reading material in English.  We took a water taxi from Leo, a cutie who gave a us a great tour around the arches and took my favorite picture of the whole trip:

 

 

Don't we look relaxed?! 

 

 

Greatest trip ever.  No contest.  Hands down.  If we could have flown our family down to be with us, we wouldn't have left.  Yes, that good.  Riu has resorts all over the world, and we were impressed enough to want to visit more of them.

 

So now my tan is fading, and I am back at work running numbers and starting to think about the budget for 2013.  But sometimes I close my eyes, and I can imagine myself back on the beach, watching the vendors try to sell their hats and sunglasses, and I can almost pretend I'm back there again. 



 

 

...and I will be.  That's a promise.

 

 

Call Lowes, Ask for Hal in Lighting...

The other day, I made a strange discovery.  I looked up the sale price of my first home on the assessor’s website because I couldn’t remember what we had sold it for.  (Don’t ask me why the sale price from 15 years ago was important information because I have no good reason other than I couldn’t remember and my brain cannot handle not knowing stuff…you can’t imagine how awful my life was pre-Google or “P.G.” as I refer to it.)  When I got to the site, it gave me the information I was looking for, but it also said that my home was bought and sold by not my first husband and I, but by my first husband and HIS CURRENT WIFE.  Um. No.  I then checked our next home…same thing.  Now, I don’t have a problem with his current wife—we actually get along pretty well—but I would have been irked if it was anybody’s name on the record other than my own.

I called a friend of mine who works for a title company.  I didn’t think she would be able to tell me what happened, but I knew she could point me in the right direction.  She agreed it was weird and advised me to call the Treasurer’s office.  I didn’t realize the can of worms I was opening.  Here is what followed:

 

1.        I called the Treasurer’s office and got K who informed me that they don’t handle that--I needed to talk to the auditor’s office—she transferred my call.

2.        The woman in the auditor’s office was CLUELESS and didn’t know how to even get on the assessors site to see the record (she literally told me she didn’t think she could access the site, so I offered to send her a link to this public site.)  Once she did, she kept spewing back information about the current owners.  CLUELESS I tell ya.  She told me to call the assessor’s office and hung up.   Apparently my amazement at her incompetency came through the phone and was not appreciated.

3.        I called the assessor’s office and got B.  B was funny—I liked him.  He felt bad that I had been shuffled but told me they don’t have any control over the data on their site (?!?) so I should call the recording department and maybe info services.  He gave me the direct line for info services and transferred my call to recording.

4.        S in recording sighed loudly and said no, they don’t do this--I needed the assessors department.  I told her I had already been there and what B had told me.  She told me B was wrong and good luck with Info Services.  Gee thanks.

5.        The lady at the Info services department didn’t have an answer either, but she took my name to ask her manager and said she would get back to me.  (3 days later, she has not.)  She also said she was pretty sure I needed the title company.

 

I would like to point out that I manage an office in a customer service industry.  Maybe this makes me hyper aware of the service I receive, but I can tell you that if any of my customers were ever shuffled around the bank the way I was shuffled around the county building, I would be appalled/furious.  Be helpful!  Take ownership!  FIX IT!  Sheesh! 

I’m just bummed my name wasn’t missing from the records back when the house payment was due.  When the mortgage company called, I could have told them “I don’t handle this, call the assessor’s office.”  Click. 

I’m now too grouchy to deal with this anymore.   

On a better note, I am continuing to run.  I don’t have a schedule, I pretty much do it whenever I can fit it in, and for the most part I have moved from a morning runner to an evening runner.  Morning, outdoor runs are still my favorite, but it requires me to drag my sleepy butt out of bed and that’s just not happening lately.  I am using my treadmill in the garage way more often than I planned to during our beautiful August and I think I may regret that when it’s raining sideways in November and I no longer have the option of running outside without drowning.

 

I did something new this week with my iFit on the treadmill and it just has me tickled.  iFit holds weekly competitions where you can log on and join a 5k or 10k.  The competitions are all over the US, and this week it was in Cheyenne, Wyoming.  You sign up for the race and it loads into your schedule as the next map to run.  You have a week to run it and it shows you on the map where the leader and the average runner are at any given time.  (i.e.  10 minutes into the run, there is a green dot showing where the fastest runner was at 10 minutes, where the average runner was at 10 minutes, and where you are in relation to those two at 10 minutes—even if the others had run the day before—does that make sense?).  You also have the option of running with a “street view” but then you can’t see the other dots for comparison.  When you are done with the race, you can go to a results page which posts how many people have run the race so far, their times, and your stats compared to theirs.  This changes throughout the week as other runners compete and then at the end of the week, they have a final tally.  I love it, and look forward to running a new 5k each week to prepare for the live races I will be doing in the upcoming months!

Funny Stuff...

I have a funny family.  My husband has a dry, sarcastic, very smart humor that has made me laugh since the day I met him 22 years ago.  I can recognize funny, but I don't usually have funny stuff coming out of me...unless it's completely by accident.  The writing is on the wall--our kids are going to be funny too. Our annual vacation is the one time a year when we get to have all 6 of us hang out together 24/7, and after everyone gets into relaxed, vacation mode, we laugh the entire time.  I look forward to that all year.  This year, I put an app on my phone so I could note the "funnies" as they happened.  I have to share with you:

**Our first night in Fremont, there was a VERY intoxicated Santa with a nasty beard doing a funky dance on the "dance floor".  He was feeling pretty good, and my children were watching with varying stages of shock, disgust, and a little bit of pity on their faces.  My husband leaned over to me and said, "Everyone says you're not supposed to smoke, drink, or do drugs, but look at Santa--he looks pretty good for 80 years old."  "Yeah, too bad he's 40."  Ba-dum-bum.  That was my one good response all week.

**When waiting for two of our kids to arrive via zipline, my daughters and I were standing near the arrival spot which just happened to be near a photo-op booth containing 2 Chippendales-ish men doing their best to charm every woman walking by.  My boy-crazy16 year old contained herself longer than I imagined before busting out with, "A man in a bow-tie, no shirt, and cuffs...that's my type."  Lord.  We're in trouble.

**We kept walking along, running into spaces where the air just smelled NASTY for a few feet or so, then it would go right back to normal.  My daughter made a comment and then one second later, my husband commented on these little spots of stink.  He nicknamed them "Shitghosts" because it was literally like walking through a smelly, nasty being for 2 seconds that would immediately disappear.  I am sorry to report that Vegas is full of Shitghosts.  I still love it.
**Our first night in town, we went out to dinner after sweating to death for about 5 hours.  Someone made a comment about how low-maintenance my son was--how he didn't ask for anything or have any major needs.  Without missing a beat, he leaned forward, put his chin on his hands and said, "Tell me I'm pretty."  He is.  We did.
**We were talking at dinner one night about how cool it would be if we could afford to take all 6 of us to a big show like Celine Dion, Bette Midler, or Elton John.  My oldest made a comment about how much she loved Elton John and how she loved that he was so flamboyant.  Our 15 year old says, "Wait, Elton John is gay?"  We all (including her younger brother) stared at her. 

**One of the highlights of our trip was visiting a good friend of mine that I have known since we were in middle school.  He has been nothing but welcoming of us whenever we come to Vegas, and while I have always loved him, I have come to adore his partner as well--they are good people through and through.  While visiting one day, he commented that he had used my (mom's) tanning lamp in high school and gotten a sunburn from it. (Backstory:  When I found this little gem in the 80's, I cleared out my walk-in closet, hung the lamp from a dowel, and made a comfy spot that my friends could use to come tan--sometimes they fell asleep.)  In response to his question, without even thinking about it, I asked him "Oh, were you in the closet?"  Then I kind of wanted to die for a second until he said, "Uh, yeah" and we all bust out laughing.  My dear friend, I adore you and everything you bring into our lives.  Never change.

On a side note:  my second-born got her drivers license today.  This makes me both terrified and elated.  On one hand:  someone to buy creamer after my bra is off for the day.  On the other hand:  the rest of the humans who now share the road with another one of my precious babies.  My kids are good drivers--trust me, if they weren't, I wouldn't set them free out there.  There are a lot of questionable people on the road who are not as careful, who spend more time looking at the phone in their hand than out the windshield (adults as well as kids--Quit texting while driving!!).  That makes me feel pretty helpless and 3 years after the oldest got her license, I assure you I never completely exhale until I know they are safely where they are supposed to be.  I swear it was only yesterday that they were begging me for dress up clothes and magic wands made from my wooden spoons.  Hug your babies and enjoy every minute of the kid chaos because soon it will be your turn to stand in line at the hardware store buying your teen her own key for the car. 

May you all enjoy a week without Shitghosts.

Vegas Baby!

As I mentioned earlier, we took the kids to a new vacation spot this year.  We have gone to Whistler BC for six of the past eight years and after getting rained on for a week straight last summer, we were all ready for some guaranteed sunshine.  We threatened taking them to Dino Town, then threw 'em a curveball and said we were renting an RV and driving around the US to see "Americana" (World's Largest Ball of Twine, anyone?).  My kids know me very well and saw through that one immediately...Mama Doesn't Camp.  Ever.  My husband and I go to Vegas at least once a year for classes (his--I shop) and felt like we knew the places that would be kid-appropriate while enjoying some sunshine in the desert. 

The day we arrived, it was 108 degrees.  Yikes.  We were spending the first night in Fremont because the condos we rented wouldn't be available until the following day and we wanted to show the kids the old-timey part of Vegas too.  We did not anticipate that Fremont had become as "colorful" as it has.  Wow.  We stopped and listened to a few outdoor concerts--some were pretty good, but it was the crowd that was an eye-opener for our sheltered, suburban kids.  You could easily pick out the people who were living on the streets with their demons and addictions--it was pretty sad.  We never felt scared, but it wasn't a place where we would let the kids wander without a parent.  We had been to a brewery with friends down there a few years before and took the kids there for dinner.  The food was great, the ambiance was relaxed with lots of tv's so we could catch up on the Olympics, and we were able to feed all 6 of us for less than $100.00.  Not an easy feat anywhere but especially in Vegas, so we went there for lunch the next day too.  Two of the kids did the zip-line under the big "screen"/ceiling, and we had a picture drawn of the four of them by a very talented guy in a booth.  Fremont was fun, but we were all ready to head to the strip the next day.

Our next location was beautiful--my husband had found the place on VRBO and it was a total score!  We had 2 adjoining penthouse suites in a building near the MGM Grand with full access to all of their amenities.  The MGM pools are amazing, and that was the kicker for us because our kids will spend hours in the water if we let them.  The next few days were filled with eating, swimming, shopping, and seeing the sights...oh, and more eating.  Wow.  We literally ate our way down the strip.  The kids loved looking at the different casinos, the shops in the Forum made our teen girls giddy (3-story H&M, anyone?) and it was so nice to be able to wear our summer clothes without carrying a sweatshirt along "just in case".  There was no just in case--even on the 2 cloudy days, it was 90 degrees.  We would be outside just long enough to get hot, then pop inside until we were cold.  I can't remember the last time I went a week without sleeves.  It was awesome.  The kids loved the Bellagio fountains--we sat through 6 of their shows.  My husband took one afternoon to do a "man-day" with our son and I took the girls to get their hair cut by a good friend of mine who works at the Christophe Salon in the MGM.  It was so cool to finally introduce my friend to our kids, and we all got great haircuts and had a nice visit to boot.  If you ever get the chance, you need to go here and ask for Campbell.  Best haircut you will ever have in your life--worth every penny.

I remember a few years back when the powers that be in PR tried to push Vegas as a place for families.  I scoffed--there was no way I was taking my kids to a place that had people handing out porn on the street corners.  Well, my kids are older now and I'm going to take that back.  While I probably wouldn't rush to take younger kids, it was the perfect spot to take teenagers for a week of fun and sun.  We are already talking about going back in two years, but my oldest will be 21 then and something tells me that could make for a very different vacation experience.  We'll see.

Uninspired

I know, I kind of disappeared for a little bit there.  I just really didn't have anything interesting to say, and my fear is that my rambling may literally induce some snoring from those of you kind enough to click on my link.  Busy?  Yep, but that goes without saying with all these kids and the one with four legs.  However, Busy does not equal Entertaining.  The pace has certainly gotten more tolerable without the school schedule but that won't last long.  It seems like the kids get out of school later and later in June, then start back up with sports and music "camps" (that's a fun word for "Required Practices During August") before the weather even fully turns summer-ish in our neck of the woods.  The next thing you know, it's time to send 'em back to class and we start on the hamster wheel all over again.  Wheeeeeeeee! 

So that being said, I don't have one single topic today but here are a few of my thoughts in no particular order:

Reading:  I read a lot of blogs--most of of them are "Mommy Blogs" and it occurred to me the other day how different my young-children-stay-at-home years would have been with a blog.  Hell, we only had the internet for a few of those years...and it was dial-up.  Positively archaic.  It would have been fun to write about the goofy things my kids were doing, and very nice to feel a sense of "community" without having to sit at the park.  I have noticed there aren't nearly as many blogs with moms of teenagers.  I think that's mostly because they are old enough to know the best way to pay us back if we write something they don't want shared in this forum.  You will not be reading about my children's potty schedule in this blog (but trust me--at least one of them has good material).

Running:  My deal of a treadmill turned out to have issues.  Thankfully, the guy I bought it from took care of me.  It had zero hours on it, so he registered the unit and used the warranty so I could get a new console.  This meant all the lights worked, but then my iFit module didn't work with the new console and frankly, I was ready to put the damn thing out on the street with a "Free to Good Home" sign.  My handy hubby is not only a fantastic chiropractor, but he takes care of the IT needs of all 3 offices, so I put him to work.  An hour later, he had figured out the bugs, and this morning I got up to a working treadmill with iFit.  I ran on the Amalfi Coast  (Holy Incline!) and tomorrow I'm going to allow The Idiot (but lets admit she has a rockin' bod) Elizabeth Hasselbeck put me through my paces.  I still love technology...I just love that someone I love knows how to make it behave.

Vacation:  Here is where I need a little input.  We are planning a trip to Mexico in the fall and every time I mention our destination to someone, they have looked at me like we're nuts.  Mexico has a lot of violence, I know, but we're planning on staying at an All-Inclusive resort in Cabo.  I feel like we should be safe, but I'm not willing to risk death for a tan and an in-room alcohol dispenser (SERIOUSLY, THIS IS A REAL THING!!!)  Disclaimer:  we don't even drink hard alcohol, but the idea of a dispenser in the room is gadget-y and cool.  I HATE the idea of letting fear rule my decision making.  But do I hate it more than the chance of orphaning our children?  Hell to the no.  Do I want to celebrate my husbands 40th birthday at the location of his choice?  Si.  What do you all know?  Are we going to make it home alive?

Age:  This part stinks.  I am seeing things happen that I don't want to face...(no pun intended)  Hair:  Graying.  I have dark hair that had a decent brown color until I had children.  Now?  Colorless and blah...just dark.  I highlight with blond religiously and will until I develop the nerve to go dark again.  I associate dark hair with a dark place in my life and avoid it like the plague...Minds are amazing.  Wrinkles:  Yeah, it's happening.  I'm dealing with it, along with other nasty skin stuff that I could do without.  Right now, I'm counting on Sephora to help me keep it in check, but I have a feeling I'm going to need to make friends with a good dermatologist soon.  As mentioned before, I don't think I will do Botox, but there has got to be something a little "friendlier" and less scary that I could start with.  Eyes:  Yeah, ummmm, I'm frickin' blind.  I opened a magazine this morning and could feel my eyes literally zoom in and out to try to focus on the tiny print.  F-Word.  I see readers in my immediate future.  Am I a little young for them?  Probably, but I also got my glasses at a young age and I'm blind as a bat without them.  If anyone will need readers early, it will be me.  Gravity:  I'm not gonna lie...everything is in a different place from where it started before pregnancy, nursing, and weight gain.  Oh, and cheerleading in a bad bra--pretty sure that did me no favors.  Oh, and the flat ass?  Not a fan.  Rest assured that there are lunges happening in my home on a regular basis.  It doesn't help that my husband is 40 but looks 25.  Dammit.

Okay, now something to make you cringe, giggle, and thank your lucky stars you weren't me this week...

The Dog: She ate (literally ingested) her rope toy last weekend.  It "sort of" made an appearance on Monday.  Someone had to help...that someone was me.  That is all.

My weekend of silence...

A few weeks ago, my husband announced he had to go to LA for training on new equipment they had purchased for the office.  Because I have a calendar looping in my brain at all times, I knew immediately that this was going to fall on a weekend that the kids weren't going to be home.  I never like it when he's traveling, but I am going to admit at that moment the clouds parted, the sunshine burst through and the angels let out with a loud "Hallelujah!" because I realized that for 48 hours, I would have the entire house to myself.  Not only would I get alone time, I would get alone time with NO schedule.  Oh. My. Gosh.  What would I do with myself?  Nothing.  That's what.  I could hardly wait.  I composed myself, said "Oh shoot, honey", and then went into the garage where I could do a little dance without hurting anyone's feelings.  I'm not one of those people that needs other humans and activity at all times.  Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and family--wouldn't trade 'em for the world, but silence and stillness make me giddy when they happen as infrequently as they do in our household.  I was going to savor this.

Friday was the day everyone was heading out, and while I didn't have any concrete plans for myself, I knew that I would have plenty of time to do whatever I wanted.  I came home from a long day at work, changed my clothes and went for a short, crummy run.  It was muggy, I was tired, but I did it purely for the satisfaction of knowing I didn't sit on my ass ALL weekend.  When I came back in the house, I took a good look around at the state of my beautiful home.  Blech.  I often say that by Friday, our house looks like Bangladesh.  Gravity must be particularly strong here as most items we have touched throughout the week are on the floor. I didn't have the energy to clean the whole house, but I figured I could at least make one room perfect...I just wouldn't go in the other rooms until tomorrow.  Cleaning and exercise out of the way, I checked the fridge to see if I needed to run to the store.  Nope, honey had taken care of me once again and made sure I had everything I needed.  God, I love that man!  I shared an apple with the dog, ate some cheese and crackers, and watched crap tv for an hour before deciding it wasn't embarrassingly early to crawl into bed.  I swear, I may be 42 on the outside, but my soul is 80.  I had told the kids that I would sleep with the dog in my daughter's bed this weekend (no dogs allowed in our room, and I felt bad sticking her in her crate for the night) so Elle and I got comfy and I read for a bit before turning out the light.  About an hour later, I woke to a noise SO LOUD, I thought someone was driving a train into the room.  Did I mention the dog is an English Bulldog?  Did you know they snore louder than any human on the planet?  Good Lord, she was loud...and hogging the bed.  I am possibly the best sleeper I know, but there was no way I was going to be able to get through the night like this.  I had to wake her up and get her downstairs to her crate so I could crawl into my own bed and get some sleep.  This is no easy task because Elle doesn't like to wake up.  Even after I got her off the bed, she would just lay down in the hallway and glare at me for disturbing her.  I couldn't bribe her with a treat--her stomach doesn't do well with midnight snacks and I sure as hell wasn't setting myself up for that cleaning task.  I couldn't even resort to carrying her because she weighs 50+ pounds (my delicate little flower) and my shoulder can't do that yet.  Finally, with a lot of coaxing, I got her down the stairs and into the crate and I collapsed in bed ready to sleep through to a lazy morning.

Wrong!  Saturday at 7am, my internal alarm goes off and I am wide awake to rain falling outside.  Okay, I can deal with this, rain is peaceful...roll over and go back to sleep.  Nope.  7:15, I'm up and pushing the coffee button as fast as I can. I sat browsing the web and finished my book.  Answered a few texts and then visited with daughter #1 when she stopped by to get ready for work.  I should go be useful now.  Took a shower, got cards and bags for Fathers Day gifts, shopped for lunch and dinner (we are daily shoppers--never stop by unannounced or I will offer you salad dressing and BBQ sauce as that's about all we have in the fridge).  Came home and tried to watch a movie.  I say "tried" because 10 minutes in my ADD kicked in and I paused the movie to clean the kitchen.  I watched about 20 minutes more then paused to start the laundry.  Finished the movie because I want to be Katherine Heigl in my next life and her co-star looks like 1980's Aiden Quinn--yumm.  Dinner of fruit and wine and...damn...too early to go to bed.  Okay, let's see what we have on OnDemand
 ... Gene Simmons Family Jewels it is!  They're married now and Shannon wants to adopt--Wait a minute...is that her sister Tracy?  What happened to her face?!?  Why aren't they addressing this?  It's all flat and she's practically unrecognizable!   I can't watch this dreck.  Elle is bored.  I bought her a huge Busy Bone but she has abandoned it and is pacing around the house looking for more interesting family members.  Sorry Elle--just me.  A few more dumb shows and it's time to hit the hay with my new issue of Vanity Fair.  Kristin Stewart is on the cover looking a little zombi-fied.  (I keep reading her name as "Schtewart" like "Megamind" because I'm a dork.)  Okay, time for sleep.

Sunday morning: 5:46am--No.  Not happening.  Go back to sleep.  Okay, 8:22--much better.  Get up, coffee, breakfast, sit for 3 hours watching HGTV and TLC because remember, the house is already clean, and I finished my book.  Kind of missing my family now.  Plus, how many episodes of Toddlers and Tiaras can you watch before you have to officially call it a problem? 

I won't bore you with the next 6 hours.  Suffice it to say that I didn't solve any world issues or cure cancer.  Every time I thought, "I should go..." or I should do...", I would remind myself how precious this quiet time was and how ticked I would be with myself later if I filled it with noise. 


I went to work the next morning and listened to everyone's stories about their BBQ's, Graduation Parties, and Fathers Day events and was thrilled to be able to share that I did Absolutely Nothing...and loved it!

It's Madness, I tell you...

I have been having the same conversation with a lot of different moms lately regarding the hectic pace of the end of the school year.  Who decided that the last 3 weeks of the school year meant that our children need activities, concerts and field trips every moment of every day?  Do you people not remember March?  We had a whole lotta free time then people!   Let's sprinkle in an outing or a fundraiser to break up the monotony.  But nobody asked me.  Our kids aren't those overloaded children with 6 activities each either, but since there are four of them it adds up pretty quickly.

Last week, one daughter began her season of cheerleading with a daily practice.  This week, we added to the fun by loading her up with drivers ed.  (Yes, we chose this class--it was either sign her up now or Grandma's going to be driving her around until college.) After we throw in travel time, this means she has about an hour a day in which to eat, do her homework, and make eye contact with the family.  Another daughter is very active in the music department at school.  We had the end of the year band concert last week and the end of the year choir concert last night.  Both were amazing--we have such a great music program and these kids are so talented! That being said, I don't enjoy eating dinner at 10pm, and my girl was so tired, there were tears.  My oldest loved band so much that she joined a community band in a town half an hour away where she attends college, so we had a concert last week and another one this week.  The band includes people of all ages and they are really good--plus, you can tell that they are having a great time with it and that makes it even better.  But again...half an hour away, at night, after work.  I know the youngest has a science fair coming up but he takes after his father and is very stingy with details so I'm pretty sure we will learn about it at 11pm the night before he has to arrive at the school an hour earlier than usual.  And I'm sure he will need to show up in a new, freshly ironed outfit and a working model of a flux capacitor.

In the meantime, I work full-time, and hubby has his practice in another town and is in the process of opening another one.  He does all of the grocery shopping and all of the cooking--yes, he is AWESOME.  He is also wonderful about jumping in when he can to pick up, drop off, or attend, but like many dads, he counts on me to tell him who, what, when, and where.  This means that I have a day planner running 24/7 in my brain to make sure we don't miss anything.  This is not a good thing at 4 in the morning.  I have found that my spouse does not appreciate it when his alarm goes off and before he can hit the button, I have reminded him to pay the camp deposit and asked when I need to pick up his dry cleaning.  His response has usually been to clamp his hand over my mouth, while mumbling "No talkie, Woman"...which is a lot nicer than my response would be if the situation were reversed. 

Underlying all of this whining is my frustration at wanting to be everywhere, do everything, and support everyone at the same time even though I know it's impossible.  I also know I am not alone in this and that makes it better.  So to all of you who ate your dinner off a paper plate over the sink at 10pm last night while writing a check for lunch money and ignoring your spouse: the end of the school year is just around the corner and you can rest assured that those same kids are going to be bored to tears in less than a week.

Ahhh, Technology!

Well, I did it...I bought a treadmill.  I run outside 99% of the time and I love the fresh air, the sounds of the birds, and getting a feel for the happenings in my neighborhood.  I just find it peaceful.  Sadly, I live in the Pacific Northwest, so I also find it cold and wet most of the time.  A little cold and wet is okay, but our schizo weather is not to be trusted and I have been caught in more than one "monsoon", as well as frozen my toukas off when it was down in the 40 degree range this winter.  That being said, I still had no plans to buy a treadmill because I know me:  I would want the zippy, spendy one with all the gadgets and that's just not in the budget.  Or so I thought.  Turns out I know a guy.  Without selling an organ, I am now the proud owner of a truly cool machine and have run this week in Paris, Central Park, and the Vegas strip...all without leaving the garage thanks to Ifit and GoogleMaps.  I have logged way too much time designing my own running routes all over the globe.  This week I have Hawaii, Beverly Hills, and Sidney...maybe I'll stop by 42 Wallaby Way. I will still do most of my running outside, but I am finding that I really like having the option.  Oh, and BONUS:  we had to clean the garage before it was delivered and I was able to take 3 truckloads of stuff to Goodwill.  I love purging.

I told my physical therapist yesterday that I want to break up.  I just feel like I'm done with going in every week to do the same damned exercises I do every day at home.  They have been WONDERFUL and taken such great care of me, but I feel like I need to move on.  It's not them...it's me.  I have one more visit in 2 weeks with the big guy there, then another visit with my surgeon, and then I think I can probably put this whole shoulder thing behind me.  I'm not 100%, but I'm probably 85-90% and I'm okay with that.

This is a momentous week for others in my household:  Child number 3 got her drivers permit on Friday and begins drivers ed classes on Monday...consider yourself warned.  Next week is big for another reason as Child number 2 turns 16 and will be able to get her driver's license, carry her cell phone, and be allowed to date.  Yes, we are those mean parents that make them wait to date and I think it's one of the best rules we have.  They are spared a lot of drama so they can spend a few more years focused on growing into confident people who will be better equipped to handle a relationship when it happens.  Oh, and just for the record--I met my husband when he was 14 and I was 16...and I told him I wouldn't date him until he was 16.  So there you go.

We are counting down to our summer vacation but we're keeping our chosen location a secret from the kids until everything is reserved.  Until then, we keep telling them we are heading to "Dino Town"   (a location better suited to 4 year olds) and we're playing that schtick as long as we can because we're evil and like to mess with them.  This is payback for sleepless nights and spit-up on all our clothes,  it's our due and it's FUN! 

Hail, Caesars!

I went running this morning.  It was Week 5, Day 3 of my Couch to 5K program (I started over at week 3 after surgery...don't judge) so I knew I had a 20 minute, nonstop run ahead of me and it kind of made me want to pee my pants.  I mapped it all out with the intention of hitting 2 miles in that time (I am so not there yet) and waited for the perfect morning to hit the road.  In order for this story to have any impact at all, I have to tell you that I don't usually listen to music when I run.  I did when I first started, but then a friend of mine who runs every day says she runs without headphones so she can hear cars and dogs and anything else that might be lurking around her when she's out.  (My brain went to "serial killers" of course.)  That freaked me out so I promptly began leaving my (brand new, totally cool) headphones at home.  This morning though, I set my new phone to play music with the C25K program, made a running playlist, and popped in only one headphone.  Tah Dah!  Exercise without the fear of early-morning dismemberment!  I put the playlist on shuffle and headed out the door.

(Completely unrelated sidenote:  I left the house about 5 minutes after 14 year old boy-child left to walk to school.  At one point in my warm up walk, I was directly across the street from him and he was facing me with 2 of his friends.  I jokingly waved and called his name in my best "Yoo Hoo" voice and the kid COMPLETELY ignored me and turned the corner.  It wasn't an angry thing, it was as if my hot-pink jersey'd being did not even exist on the other side of the road.  Really?  He is so getting kissed in public at the next opportunity.  Any other embarrassing ideas are welcome, and please know that I have no shame.)

I finished the first mile and walked for 2 houses.  I didn't want to lose too much momentum, so I picked it back up right away.  I made it about halfway back and was starting to get a teeny tiny bit ready to be done when the song "Jerk It Out" by the Caesars came on.  I was wondering if I was going to be able to complete my 20 minutes when the line "I'll be running circles around you sooner than you know" came on.  Oh, okay.  That's good.  Keep Running.  I tune out a little again, and then the lyric "cause it's easy once you know how it's done, you can't stop now it's already begun" comes on and I find my inner beast and not only finish the 20 minute, but run for 2 minutes more to complete the 2 mile course for bragging rights. Truthfully, I don't even want to know what the song is about (I suspect a bit of ewww-factor in there), but those two lines were just what I needed at just the right time so I will be running with one headphone from now on.  And pepper spray.

Help me complete my playlist, please?  What songs do I need to make my run better?

Bangs or Botox?

I didn't come up with that title--it's actually a "thing".  I will give you a moment to Google it...seriously, go ahead.  A friend of mine recently got bangs (they're cute!) because her stylist told her "after 30, it's bangs or Botox".  I had never heard that before, and haven't had true bangs in 10 years.  I must be out of the loop because I thought we weren't supposed to have bangs after age 5.  My stylist gave me so much crap 10 years ago I guess I just never recovered.  So who makes these rules?  And why do I care?  That's it--screw them, I don't care.  Except yes I do...I care...dammit.  I know I don't like the horizontal age reminders that appear on my forehead everytime the sun comes out or I'm confused...or can't see...or hear...okay just way too often.  I just wish I had known in my 30's that I needed to be proactive.  I was just too busy USING Pro-Activ on my stupid acne that I had no clue I was also supposed to be fighting wrinkles and lines and other stuff that wasn't there yet.  Ugh.  Being a woman is exhausting.  I would warn my daughters, but I have a feeling they will pay attention as well as I did (not) at that age.  I will say that as much as I joke about getting Botox or surgically putting parts of me back where they used to be, I just don't have it in me to fight aging that way.  (However I do not judge those who do--to each his/her own)   I will exercise, I will eat right, and I will keep Victoria's Secret, but I will accept the passing of time without surgery or injections, with as much grace as I can muster...and I guess with bangs.

Back to work...

Day 1:  What on earth made me think I could just pull up my big girl panties and head to work without turning into a complete wet noodle by 3pm?!    My body was yelling, "Hey Dumbass, you just spent 6 weeks in your chair--take it easy."  but I covered my ears, closed my eyes and shouted, "LA LA LA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!" and skipped back to work.  I seriously think a part of me thinks I am invincible.  More like suffering from a bad case of denial.  In hindsight, putting in 2 extra hours my first day back was a DUMB MOVE.  Why I didn't see that coming is beyond me--wouldn't any normal, intelligent person know this?  Anyhoo, I sat at my desk with my shoulder at a weird angle, answered emails, put out fires, and read banking updates for more than 8 hours then came home surprised that I was tired and sore, plugged in my heating pad, ate dinner and fell asleep before my children.  (as in "earlier than" not "in front of")

Day 2:  I did it again and planned more *&^% to do after work next week...because I am a yes girl.

Day 3:  My boss called and was surprised I was still there.  Apparently she knows me better than I know myself and assumed I would hit it so hard the first few days that I would need to take more time off.  Lordy.

Day 4:  Feeling a little more normal.  I got a new treat to make my desk more ergonomic, met with some prospective clients and felt like I didn't have to fake the smiles quite as much.  Things are looking up.  I vaguely remember "normal".

Day 5:  I have never woken up thinking TGIF as vehemently as I did on this Friday.  Spent my lunch hour at PT (read: pain and yogurt for lunch) but got some really positive feedback so all in all it was a good day.  Went home and slept for 12 hours straight.  Methinks I needed it.

I'm feeling a bit more positive and decided it's time to choose the events in my life again rather than just let it happen to me.  So...I have a plan for tomorrow morning.  I don't want to disclose too much because my big mouth got me in trouble last time, but it involves a good pair of shoes and some headphones.  I need this.  I will let you know how it goes.

Yumm, this crow is delicious...

Note to self:  no blogging while experiencing a runners high. 

So, I made a pretty grand statement last week after my first run.  I was all gung-ho, I was back
Bay-bee!  I was so...WRONG!  I hurt like crazy for the following 5 days or so but thought I could push through it because I'm tough, right?  I even attempted a second run that was a complete flop from the minute I left the house.  I hate that, but it happens.  When I finally realized I had taken a few steps backwards in my recovery progress, I recognized it as a big ol' slap on the head from the universe and decided I had better pay attention.  Got it.  No running...yet.

Next Monday is my first day back to work and I admit that while I love being at home, I see that it's time to get out of the house and use my brain.  The OCD of years past is kicking in and it is laser-focused on dog hair right now.  I understand it's spring and Elle is going to shed a little more now than normal, but holy hair--I just didn't anticipate the shedding to be at this level with a bulldog.  Last week I was obsessing a bit (okay, more than a bit) about needing to vaccuum multiple times a day and my daughter looked me in the eye and said, "Mom, you need to go back to work."  Out of the mouth of babes.  My world has shrunk down to the size of my house and not much else gets in.  Time to get myself back out there and think about other stuff.

On that note, hubby and I were able to run away for a night this weekend for the first time in many moons.  Nice hotel, great food, perfect weather...check.  We ate WAY too much which is normal for these getaways, but it was calm and relaxing and I didn't think about dog hair once for 24 hours so it was good for the soul.


Lists are my thing so here are two more: 

Stuff I am looking forward to when I return to work:

1.  There will not be any dog hair on my chair...or anywhere else in my office.
2.  I will not need to remind anyone to do anything laundry-related for hours at a time.
3.  I can see Starbucks from my desk.
4.  I truly like the people I work with and I have missed them!


Stuff I am NOT looking forward to when I return to work:

1.  Customers asking if I have been on vacation and the ensuing conversation...all day long.
2.  Nylons and a bra for 10 frickin hours.
3.  My alarm...every day?  Really?  Damn.
4.  Lack of napping opportunities.

Speaking of naps....

Appreciating My Down Time

   Long, long ago, in my past life (AKA first marriage), I was lucky enough to stay home with my babies for several years.  I had a part-time position with a photographer for a bit, and my own business for another year (that is a story for another day--what a sucky set-up that was.)  For the most part though, my days revolved around getting the oldest to and from school and playdates and keeping the youngest from licking the outlets or playing in the road.  (She was a determined little twit too, this was no small feat.)  I can't count the hours we spent playing dress-up, reading stories, and doing art projects.  The fact that I was there for so many of their milestones is priceless to me--I wouldn't trade it for the world and I count myself VERY blessed that this was my reality.  That being said, after eight years I was ready to turn in my domestic goddess card and head back to the world of grown-ups.  That was eleven years ago and I have been hard at work ever since, until....
     Now.  This recovery period from shoulder surgery meant six weeks off from work.  Six weeks?!  I  haven't taken more than two consecutive weeks away from my desk in...um...ever.  So this was weird.   I now have one more week at home, then it is back to the bank for me.  My brain has kind of turned to porridge so I believe it is a good thing, but I feel like I need to stop and note the parts I truly appreciated about my stay at home this time around:

1.  My family (including the ones who don't live here):  They have all busted their heineys to keep me comfortable.  Whether it's picking up something heavy, chores without complaint, taking care of the dog, or just letting me veg in my chair without asking anything of me for hours.  We have had so many good talks, and I feel like I have seen more of them these 5 weeks than in 5 months.  It's been good to re-connect...They rock. 

2.  Teenagers are fun:  I have four of 'em, so I consider myself a bit of an expert and I can say without a doubt that this is my favorite age.  Think about it:  They know their own schedule--they just need rides.  My help is never required in the bathroom, they can get their own snacks, and they let me nap...in fact they probably prefer it when I'm asleep because that means I can't ask them to vaccuum.  In addition to all of this, they are developing some pretty wicked senses of humor, and like the same tv and movies I do.  These are some great human beings, and don't tell them I know this, but I think they kind of like me too.  Shhhhhhh.

3.  Technology: It is nearly impossible to be bored.  I remember how excited we were to have MTV and the Disney channel when the kids were little.  I now have more channels and gadgets than I know what to do with.  Between my phone, the laptop, and the TV, I could go all day without talking to another person.  Don't get me wrong--I've still read about ten books so far, but it's nice to have it when I want it.  Plus, I am much better at "Words with Friends" with the kids now than I was at playing "Polly Pockets" when they were four. 

4.  My time is my own:  Staying at home now is very different from before since they now go to school for several hours a day.  This means I am alone with the dog, and she doesn't care if I don't shower until noon or watch HGTV for four straight hours.  As long as I let her lay at the end of my chair and snore every morning, she's happy.  This freedom is completely foreign to me...but I bet I could get used to it.

To all of you who don't have to check in at a 40 hr/wk kind of job outside of the home--you have my respect.  Even with all the perks I listed, I can tell you that being a stay-at-home parent is the hardest job I ever had.  But you can't beat getting your "paycheck" in cuddles and happy kids.

Back out there

As many of you know, 2011 was a year of change.  My daughters and I embarked on a weight-loss challenge the day after returning from a week-long vacation of food, rain, and more food.  Frankly, I was tired of the tears everytime we needed to buy new clothing:  we had hit the end of the sizes available on the racks and it was time to either lose the weight or find some new stores.  We started WW online and started seeing results immediately.  In August, I was inspired to start running.  I went out a few times on my own, found I didn't die, and decided I should do it the smart way and downloaded the Couch to 5K app on my phone.  I highly recommend this program to anyone who has caught the running bug!  I quickly progressed and ran my first 4 mile run for arthritis in November.  That's it--I was hooked.  I was scouting the local sites, picking out the 5k's, 10k's, and 1/2 marathons I was going to sign up for and basing the success of my day on whether or not I had 45 minutes to run before it was dark.  My husband bought me beautiful new running clothes for Christmas that I was able to wear for exactly 1 week before my body said..."Nope, sorry but we're done here."

What?!  But I'm healthy!  I am down 30 pounds, running 12 - 15 miles a week--whatdya mean we're "done"?!  Well, my joints have always been crummy.  My ankles, knees, wrists, shoulders, hips--all of 'em kind of stink.  They are weak, and they can predict the weather--not a skill I appreciate.  Now, my shoulder has suddenly "frozen" and aches 24/7.  Three weeks and one MRI later, I learn that I have multiple issues with my shoulder and surgery is necessary.  Fabulous.   Surgery is done March 15th, and the doctor informs us that I have one of the worst shoulders he has ever seen.  Really?  May I remind you I have a desk job?  I don't golf, swim, pitch baseballs, play tennis or anything that would logically lead to the kind of damage I have.  I have developed a new hatred for the word "idiopathic" as it's just a fancy way for the docs to shrug their (perfectly healthy) shoulders and say "We don't know...that will be $12,000".  I have taken more painkillers in 3 months than I have in my entire life but I am DONE with all of them for the sake of my gasping liver. I now take ibuprofen a few times a day and it gets me through the day. Physical Therapy three times a week keeps me humble, but I keep telling myself that I am a beast and they assure me I am progressing quite well. 

Fast forward to today.  I am 4 weeks post op and just went for my first run!  I was afraid I would have to start over, but I was able to start with the Week 4, Run 1 for 4 reasons:

1.  4 is my favorite number.  (I know, but go with it.)
2.  I have 2 friends that recently started the program, and that is where they are--maybe we can do a
     run together when we complete it.  (Brenda, we can run together in spirit because I can't come to
     Tennesee!)
3.  I was 4 weeks post-op, so it seemed almost poetic,
4.  I am too damned ornery to start at the beginning again.  4 weeks is over 1/3 of the way through
     and my ego was fine with that.

I didn't go very fast, I wanted to throw up at the 1 mile mark, and I'm pretty sure the nice older men that said hi to me were more than a little concerned with my red-faced wheezing...but I did it.  And what's more, I'm gonna do it again tomorrow.

It's good to be back out there.

Why am I doing this?

I have considered blogging in the past and always talked myself out of it.  I am brilliant in my own mind, but sometimes feel as eloquent as Beaker from The Muppets when I attempt to put my thoughts into words.  You know that scene in the Breakfast Club where Ally Sheedy dumps her purse onto the couch with hopes that the group will care enough to look at the contents?  That is what writing feels like to me.  So with that being said, here is my purse:  I hope you can get past the old wadded up tissues and shopping lists and can zero in on the dollar bills and gum.