Note to self: no blogging while experiencing a runners high.
So, I made a pretty grand statement last week after my first run. I was all gung-ho, I was back
Bay-bee! I was so...WRONG! I hurt like crazy for the following 5 days or so but thought I could push through it because I'm tough, right? I even attempted a second run that was a complete flop from the minute I left the house. I hate that, but it happens. When I finally realized I had taken a few steps backwards in my recovery progress, I recognized it as a big ol' slap on the head from the universe and decided I had better pay attention. Got it. No running...yet.
Next Monday is my first day back to work and I admit that while I love being at home, I see that it's time to get out of the house and use my brain. The OCD of years past is kicking in and it is laser-focused on dog hair right now. I understand it's spring and Elle is going to shed a little more now than normal, but holy hair--I just didn't anticipate the shedding to be at this level with a bulldog. Last week I was obsessing a bit (okay, more than a bit) about needing to vaccuum multiple times a day and my daughter looked me in the eye and said, "Mom, you need to go back to work." Out of the mouth of babes. My world has shrunk down to the size of my house and not much else gets in. Time to get myself back out there and think about other stuff.
On that note, hubby and I were able to run away for a night this weekend for the first time in many moons. Nice hotel, great food, perfect weather...check. We ate WAY too much which is normal for these getaways, but it was calm and relaxing and I didn't think about dog hair once for 24 hours so it was good for the soul.
Lists are my thing so here are two more:
Stuff I am looking forward to when I return to work:
1. There will not be any dog hair on my chair...or anywhere else in my office.
2. I will not need to remind anyone to do anything laundry-related for hours at a time.
3. I can see Starbucks from my desk.
4. I truly like the people I work with and I have missed them!
Stuff I am NOT looking forward to when I return to work:
1. Customers asking if I have been on vacation and the ensuing conversation...all day long.
2. Nylons and a bra for 10 frickin hours.
3. My alarm...every day? Really? Damn.
4. Lack of napping opportunities.
Speaking of naps....
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Appreciating My Down Time
Long, long ago, in my past life (AKA first marriage), I was lucky enough to stay home with my babies for several years. I had a part-time position with a photographer for a bit, and my own business for another year (that is a story for another day--what a sucky set-up that was.) For the most part though, my days revolved around getting the oldest to and from school and playdates and keeping the youngest from licking the outlets or playing in the road. (She was a determined little twit too, this was no small feat.) I can't count the hours we spent playing dress-up, reading stories, and doing art projects. The fact that I was there for so many of their milestones is priceless to me--I wouldn't trade it for the world and I count myself VERY blessed that this was my reality. That being said, after eight years I was ready to turn in my domestic goddess card and head back to the world of grown-ups. That was eleven years ago and I have been hard at work ever since, until....
Now. This recovery period from shoulder surgery meant six weeks off from work. Six weeks?! I haven't taken more than two consecutive weeks away from my desk in...um...ever. So this was weird. I now have one more week at home, then it is back to the bank for me. My brain has kind of turned to porridge so I believe it is a good thing, but I feel like I need to stop and note the parts I truly appreciated about my stay at home this time around:
1. My family (including the ones who don't live here): They have all busted their heineys to keep me comfortable. Whether it's picking up something heavy, chores without complaint, taking care of the dog, or just letting me veg in my chair without asking anything of me for hours. We have had so many good talks, and I feel like I have seen more of them these 5 weeks than in 5 months. It's been good to re-connect...They rock.
2. Teenagers are fun: I have four of 'em, so I consider myself a bit of an expert and I can say without a doubt that this is my favorite age. Think about it: They know their own schedule--they just need rides. My help is never required in the bathroom, they can get their own snacks, and they let me nap...in fact they probably prefer it when I'm asleep because that means I can't ask them to vaccuum. In addition to all of this, they are developing some pretty wicked senses of humor, and like the same tv and movies I do. These are some great human beings, and don't tell them I know this, but I think they kind of like me too. Shhhhhhh.
3. Technology: It is nearly impossible to be bored. I remember how excited we were to have MTV and the Disney channel when the kids were little. I now have more channels and gadgets than I know what to do with. Between my phone, the laptop, and the TV, I could go all day without talking to another person. Don't get me wrong--I've still read about ten books so far, but it's nice to have it when I want it. Plus, I am much better at "Words with Friends" with the kids now than I was at playing "Polly Pockets" when they were four.
4. My time is my own: Staying at home now is very different from before since they now go to school for several hours a day. This means I am alone with the dog, and she doesn't care if I don't shower until noon or watch HGTV for four straight hours. As long as I let her lay at the end of my chair and snore every morning, she's happy. This freedom is completely foreign to me...but I bet I could get used to it.
To all of you who don't have to check in at a 40 hr/wk kind of job outside of the home--you have my respect. Even with all the perks I listed, I can tell you that being a stay-at-home parent is the hardest job I ever had. But you can't beat getting your "paycheck" in cuddles and happy kids.
Now. This recovery period from shoulder surgery meant six weeks off from work. Six weeks?! I haven't taken more than two consecutive weeks away from my desk in...um...ever. So this was weird. I now have one more week at home, then it is back to the bank for me. My brain has kind of turned to porridge so I believe it is a good thing, but I feel like I need to stop and note the parts I truly appreciated about my stay at home this time around:
1. My family (including the ones who don't live here): They have all busted their heineys to keep me comfortable. Whether it's picking up something heavy, chores without complaint, taking care of the dog, or just letting me veg in my chair without asking anything of me for hours. We have had so many good talks, and I feel like I have seen more of them these 5 weeks than in 5 months. It's been good to re-connect...They rock.
2. Teenagers are fun: I have four of 'em, so I consider myself a bit of an expert and I can say without a doubt that this is my favorite age. Think about it: They know their own schedule--they just need rides. My help is never required in the bathroom, they can get their own snacks, and they let me nap...in fact they probably prefer it when I'm asleep because that means I can't ask them to vaccuum. In addition to all of this, they are developing some pretty wicked senses of humor, and like the same tv and movies I do. These are some great human beings, and don't tell them I know this, but I think they kind of like me too. Shhhhhhh.
3. Technology: It is nearly impossible to be bored. I remember how excited we were to have MTV and the Disney channel when the kids were little. I now have more channels and gadgets than I know what to do with. Between my phone, the laptop, and the TV, I could go all day without talking to another person. Don't get me wrong--I've still read about ten books so far, but it's nice to have it when I want it. Plus, I am much better at "Words with Friends" with the kids now than I was at playing "Polly Pockets" when they were four.
4. My time is my own: Staying at home now is very different from before since they now go to school for several hours a day. This means I am alone with the dog, and she doesn't care if I don't shower until noon or watch HGTV for four straight hours. As long as I let her lay at the end of my chair and snore every morning, she's happy. This freedom is completely foreign to me...but I bet I could get used to it.
To all of you who don't have to check in at a 40 hr/wk kind of job outside of the home--you have my respect. Even with all the perks I listed, I can tell you that being a stay-at-home parent is the hardest job I ever had. But you can't beat getting your "paycheck" in cuddles and happy kids.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Back out there
As many of you know, 2011 was a year of change. My daughters and I embarked on a weight-loss challenge the day after returning from a week-long vacation of food, rain, and more food. Frankly, I was tired of the tears everytime we needed to buy new clothing: we had hit the end of the sizes available on the racks and it was time to either lose the weight or find some new stores. We started WW online and started seeing results immediately. In August, I was inspired to start running. I went out a few times on my own, found I didn't die, and decided I should do it the smart way and downloaded the Couch to 5K app on my phone. I highly recommend this program to anyone who has caught the running bug! I quickly progressed and ran my first 4 mile run for arthritis in November. That's it--I was hooked. I was scouting the local sites, picking out the 5k's, 10k's, and 1/2 marathons I was going to sign up for and basing the success of my day on whether or not I had 45 minutes to run before it was dark. My husband bought me beautiful new running clothes for Christmas that I was able to wear for exactly 1 week before my body said..."Nope, sorry but we're done here."
What?! But I'm healthy! I am down 30 pounds, running 12 - 15 miles a week--whatdya mean we're "done"?! Well, my joints have always been crummy. My ankles, knees, wrists, shoulders, hips--all of 'em kind of stink. They are weak, and they can predict the weather--not a skill I appreciate. Now, my shoulder has suddenly "frozen" and aches 24/7. Three weeks and one MRI later, I learn that I have multiple issues with my shoulder and surgery is necessary. Fabulous. Surgery is done March 15th, and the doctor informs us that I have one of the worst shoulders he has ever seen. Really? May I remind you I have a desk job? I don't golf, swim, pitch baseballs, play tennis or anything that would logically lead to the kind of damage I have. I have developed a new hatred for the word "idiopathic" as it's just a fancy way for the docs to shrug their (perfectly healthy) shoulders and say "We don't know...that will be $12,000". I have taken more painkillers in 3 months than I have in my entire life but I am DONE with all of them for the sake of my gasping liver. I now take ibuprofen a few times a day and it gets me through the day. Physical Therapy three times a week keeps me humble, but I keep telling myself that I am a beast and they assure me I am progressing quite well.
Fast forward to today. I am 4 weeks post op and just went for my first run! I was afraid I would have to start over, but I was able to start with the Week 4, Run 1 for 4 reasons:
1. 4 is my favorite number. (I know, but go with it.)
2. I have 2 friends that recently started the program, and that is where they are--maybe we can do a
run together when we complete it. (Brenda, we can run together in spirit because I can't come to
Tennesee!)
3. I was 4 weeks post-op, so it seemed almost poetic,
4. I am too damned ornery to start at the beginning again. 4 weeks is over 1/3 of the way through
and my ego was fine with that.
I didn't go very fast, I wanted to throw up at the 1 mile mark, and I'm pretty sure the nice older men that said hi to me were more than a little concerned with my red-faced wheezing...but I did it. And what's more, I'm gonna do it again tomorrow.
It's good to be back out there.
What?! But I'm healthy! I am down 30 pounds, running 12 - 15 miles a week--whatdya mean we're "done"?! Well, my joints have always been crummy. My ankles, knees, wrists, shoulders, hips--all of 'em kind of stink. They are weak, and they can predict the weather--not a skill I appreciate. Now, my shoulder has suddenly "frozen" and aches 24/7. Three weeks and one MRI later, I learn that I have multiple issues with my shoulder and surgery is necessary. Fabulous. Surgery is done March 15th, and the doctor informs us that I have one of the worst shoulders he has ever seen. Really? May I remind you I have a desk job? I don't golf, swim, pitch baseballs, play tennis or anything that would logically lead to the kind of damage I have. I have developed a new hatred for the word "idiopathic" as it's just a fancy way for the docs to shrug their (perfectly healthy) shoulders and say "We don't know...that will be $12,000". I have taken more painkillers in 3 months than I have in my entire life but I am DONE with all of them for the sake of my gasping liver. I now take ibuprofen a few times a day and it gets me through the day. Physical Therapy three times a week keeps me humble, but I keep telling myself that I am a beast and they assure me I am progressing quite well.
Fast forward to today. I am 4 weeks post op and just went for my first run! I was afraid I would have to start over, but I was able to start with the Week 4, Run 1 for 4 reasons:
1. 4 is my favorite number. (I know, but go with it.)
2. I have 2 friends that recently started the program, and that is where they are--maybe we can do a
run together when we complete it. (Brenda, we can run together in spirit because I can't come to
Tennesee!)
3. I was 4 weeks post-op, so it seemed almost poetic,
4. I am too damned ornery to start at the beginning again. 4 weeks is over 1/3 of the way through
and my ego was fine with that.
I didn't go very fast, I wanted to throw up at the 1 mile mark, and I'm pretty sure the nice older men that said hi to me were more than a little concerned with my red-faced wheezing...but I did it. And what's more, I'm gonna do it again tomorrow.
It's good to be back out there.
Why am I doing this?
I have considered blogging in the past and always talked myself out of it. I am brilliant in my own mind, but sometimes feel as eloquent as Beaker from The Muppets when I attempt to put my thoughts into words. You know that scene in the Breakfast Club where Ally Sheedy dumps her purse onto the couch with hopes that the group will care enough to look at the contents? That is what writing feels like to me. So with that being said, here is my purse: I hope you can get past the old wadded up tissues and shopping lists and can zero in on the dollar bills and gum.
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