My Milkshake (part deux)

Day 5:  Woke up down 8 lbs. and was told by a friend that I have no ass.  Still did my shake day as recommended, felt strong, but feeling like I needed to curb the weight loss.

Day 6:  Day in Seattle planned with the kids.  Woke up and just knew I was done.  I will not allow myself to lose anymore, I feel like I accomplished what I wanted to, and I don't feel bad about being done.  Texted my "cleanse buddy" and learned she had already had breakfast and coffee, so we were on the same page.

I will do this again.  I felt good, I felt strong, and I feel like the benefits far outweighed the taste of the vanilla shake.   I think I will wait until January and do it again for 5 days when we get back from Vegas.  That was perfect.

Until then, my friend and I will be working diligently on a cleanse program that allows for coffee and wine.  We're gonna make millions.

My milkshake

Disclaimer 1:  The word “cleanse” grosses me out.  It makes me think things about a person that I just shouldn’t know. It’s TMI.  Please know that when I say cleanse, I am referring to my gut AND my liver AND my skin AND just everything.  This is not a story about poo, I promise.

Disclaimer 2:  I have several friends and clients who use, distribute, and swear-by many different cleansing products.  This is not a commercial for any one brand, and it is not a slam to the brands I didn’t choose. This is about me.

I have tried cleansing a few times with good intentions and very little willpower.  My husband had done the “Master Cleanse” a few times before we met with great results.  He had a few pounds to lose (hard to believe when you look at him now) and he not only lost the weight, but regained his energy and felt positively glow-y by the end.  Several years ago, I was feeling sluggish and wanted to jumpstart my bod back into shape.  I decided to try the Master Cleanse over spring break.  I was going to need (ahem) quick access to a bathroom so it would be the perfect week to be home and take care of the kids and myself at the same time.  What I didn’t consider was that I had 4 children under the age of 10 who counted on me to provide breakfast, lunch, and dinner that week.  That’s a lot of time to be around food when you aren’t eating any.  Have you ever counted how many food commercials are on TV over the course of the day?  Many.  It was tough.  6pm rolled around and hubby came home from work.  I made my decision and waved at my man lovingly as I walked out the back door to go buy a cheeseburger with all the fixins.  My second try lasted 3 days, and I made it 5 days on the third and final attempt.  Each time I tried, I felt like crap, I was starving the whole time and it just didn’t make me feel like I did something good for my body.  It has worked for many (Beyonce anyone?) but it is NOT for me.

Fast forward 10 years or so, and I start itching to try something new.  Granted, I’m only 5 lbs over the goal weight that I have maintained for the last 2 years, but it’s not just about the weight.  I feel puffy and toxic, and my skin is not cooperating.  I also see myself falling back into old food habits, and the upward trend on the scale is starting to make me feel a little anxious.  I wanted to reboot and start fresh.  I did some research, and made my decision.  I bought my stuff, and started 4 days ago.  Here goes:

Day 1:  2 shakes as meal replacements, and a light dinner.  A few approved snacks in between, lots of vitamins.  I feel great and have tons of energy.  No coffee, so I anticipated a headache, but nothing.

Day 2:  Same menu, same results.  My one complaint?  Everything tastes sweet:  chocolate, vanilla, berry.  Will someone please market a fiber/protein bar that tastes like cheetos or popcorn?

Day 3: First deep cleanse day means no solid food except a few of their approved snacks.  I drink a detoxifying “shot” 4 times a day, tons of vitamins, and lots of water.  Surprisingly, I feel great, still have a lot of energy, and I’m not even a little bit hungry.  That being said, I miss food.  I miss chewing and flavor.  I went to bed very early so I didn’t have to smell the deliciousness happening downstairs at dinnertime.   

Day 4: Second cleanse day I still feel fine and not really hungry, but the whole “I love food” part of me is REALLY anticipating dinner tomorrow.  Food with a fork--Heavenly!  

 

I have 5 shake days to go, then 2 more cleanse days...

 

Results so far:  My skin is clearing up, my tongue is getting pinker and I feel better.  I didn't do the measurements thing--I just don't care.  If my jeans fit better, then I'm happy.  I do know I am down 6 lbs. and probably will stay right around there for the remainder.  Perfect, that’s really about all I was after as far as my weight goes.  I’m a tall girl with hips, a rack and broad shoulders and I lose weight in my face so today's "thin" is tomorrow's "cadaver".  I have to be careful. Plus, people comment.  I don't need to hear that. 

Side Note:  Why do people think it is okay to comment on the bodies of others?  Here’s the rule I follow:  If it’s not attached to my body, I must shut the hell up.  Feel free to share that one.

 

Another Side Note:  In writing this, I started ranting about body issues...specifically mine.  I erased it all because I'm not ready for that rabbit hole.  Maybe another day.

 

I am heading off to a function tonight where the food and wine will be in abundance.  I will take my (2 quarter sized) snacks with me and resist the rest..  I have another week to go and I am going to finish this beeyotch.

 

To be continued...

 

All the things

So we did the move today.  My daughter is now in her apartment and SO happy about it!  After the big push was over, everyone else left and I stayed behind to help her do the fun chores like putting away her clothes and making her bed.  She made a very innocent comment that really hit me in my core.  I was putting her clothes in the closet organizer and commenting at how many things she had that I didn't recognize.  It kind of surprised me because I didn't realize she had such an expansive wardrobe.  She said, "Yeah, it's kind of cool to finally have all my stuff in one place." 

Boom. 
You could have knocked me over with a feather.

Her father and I separated 13 years ago, so she has split her time evenly between her dad's house and mine ever since.  We live very near each other to keep the transition easy for the girls, and it just always made sense to make sure they had full wardrobes at each house so they never had to pack a bag to go back and forth.  Of course, this spilled over into other items as well.  After all this time, we had really fallen into a comfortable rhythm, and I guess I got lazy.  I stopped thinking about what it means to live in two houses.  Sure, she got even time with both parents, but she also had to be constantly mindful about her schedule, her needs, and what was where.  She just rolled with it because she didn't really have a choice in the matter.  This constant planning will end for her now, and the relief that has to bring to her makes me want to cry.  In fact, that touches my heart nearly as much as the fact that my daughter doesn't live here anymore. 

It's kind of humbling to remember that  I am 43 years old, and I'm still figuring this s*&^ out every day.

Turn and Face The Strange...

So, it's actually happening.  My oldest child, my "baby girl", my firstborn is flying the coop...leaving the nest...abandoning me in my advancing years...

Too much?

Yeah, I'm actually pretty excited for her.  I remember the first time I lived on my own.  I was 18, and I moved in with two other girls in a town about an hour away from where I grew up.  One roommate was my very bestest friend and the other had been her roommate elsewhere for awhile and had a few...issues.  She also had an AWESOME closet full of clothes which we borrowed regularly...usually without permission.  I justified this as her payment to me for all the damages my lungs suffered from exposure to her Aussie Sprunch Spray addiction.  She had some impressive bangs.

We were slobs and did dumb stuff but man did we have fun.  We couldn't afford eating out, but going to dessert was doable...if we split it.  We "wallpapered" the kitchen with contact paper once out of boredom, and it was like Christmas the day we got a microwave.  We feasted on microwaveable dinners and microwaveable popcorn that night.  If it could go in the microwave, we nuked it. 
Good times. 

I learned some life lessons from those months:

*I learned that your first roommate is going to impress themselves on your heart for the rest of your life.

*I was never as poor in my whole life (before or since) as I was for the first 6 months I lived on my own so I learned to budget and be creative.

*I was alone a lot in new situations so I learned to suck it up, face my fears, and do what needed to be done.

*I learned that sometimes you have to kill your own spiders.

*I learned that you never have as much toilet paper at home as you think you do, so it's always best to grab a few more rolls.

*I learned that some roommates (especially those with big bangs) don't like it when you label your food in an attempt to keep them from eating it, which led me to my next discovery:

*When a steak is dropped in the "dead zone" between the fridge and the stove, you can just wash it off and serve it to unsuspecting others and they won't die.

Yep.  We did.

So to my adorable offspring, you are embarking on a journey that you will never forget or regret.  You will surprise yourself with your strength, courage, and creativity.  You will make memories to last a lifetime, and you will probably run out of toilet paper. 

You will survive it all and you will be a better person for it.  You make me proud kiddo. 

motivation

Motivation?  I have none.  I have dwindled down to running only 2 or so miles at a time maybe 3 times a week...if I'm lucky.  Sometimes only twice.  Yes, that's 4 miles a week.  4 miles a week will not allow me to eat what I want and still button my jeans, people.  I need some inspiration.  I have combed through Pinterest, pinning motivational posters of skinny people in cute running clothes at sunrise.  Getting up early to run outside with the sun only happens a few months out of the year in my neck of the woods.  I know this, I appreciate this.  Sadly, I sleep through this.  I started running after work a few times a week because I had time to run and shower before hubby came home.  Then other stuff started getting in the way of that.  Then I just got lazy.  I really like sitting on my chair playing Candy Crush Saga and watching Bravo.  (yes, simultaneously...those housewives don't need to be watched--just listened to). 


I need to get motivated again.  I need to remember I'm worth it...again.  I need to know that the time I'm putting in will come back to me in muscle tone, endorphins, and a flat tummy for the summer.   Okay, and probably more years on the planet.  Right now though, it's a month until vacation and the flat tummy at the pool beats more bingo at age 88. 

Dammit.  I guess I'm running tomorrow.  I better go stream some Nike ads.

My latest obsession

Waaaaay back in 2007, Amazon launched their new product, The Kindle.  I have always been a voracious reader, and my husband recognized that this would the perfect gift for me.  We had just begun traveling several times a year, and he was tired of helping me lug around 4-5 library books on each trip.  He paid a small fortune, we were put on a waiting list, and 4 weeks later my Kindle arrived in a very fancy box with lots of cords and instructions.  The original Kindle worked off of cell service, because in 2007, wi-fi was only available in those pesky "hotspots".  I LOVED my Kindle, it traveled everywhere with me and I used it all the time. 

Fast-forward to 2012.  My Kindle is now limping along on it's after-market replacement battery that I could only find on Ebay.  Downloading a book requires standing in the south-western corner of my living room with the Kindle actually touching the wall, and even then I had to be standing on one foot with my arm in the air and a mind full of positive energy.  Meanwhile, daughter #2 had gotten a new Kindle Fire which made my original Kindle look like an Etch-A-Sketch.  I resisted for about a year, but when Amazon made the Fire practically free one day during my birthday week, I succumbed.

This time it's different though:  I have had my new Kindle for 2 months now and I have yet to read a book on it.  I have been a "Prime" member for years, and decided to take advantage of the ability to stream shows.  I started with "Downton Abbey", which led me to "Upstairs Downstairs".  (the new one from 2 years ago--it's excellent!)  I watched every episode of every season from beginning to end whenever I wanted and it was free. I wish I could go back in time and tell 13-year-old me that this was going to be available in the future. A friend asked me if I had ever seen "Friday Night Lights".  Um, no.  That's football...Me no likey football.  "Try it" she said.  She has a good track record of being right so one night I turned on the first episode.  Kyle Chandler is cute, Connie Britton has fabulous hair, okay let's move on to the next one.  That was 5 seasons ago.  I will not admit how long (or rather how NOT long) it took me to watch all 74 episodes of this show, but the word "obsessive" does not begin to touch it.  I loved the characters, the casting was spot-on, and the storylines were so well-written.  I finished it last night at 11:50 and promptly went into mourning.  I may have to watch it again but with hubby this time. 

But first, I think I had better read a book.

No mas.

I was feeling a little old last week. 

I recently went on a trip with two friends who have small children.  Lots of the talk centered around babies, breastfeeding, potty training, and more breastfeeding.  For the first time, it was very obvious to me how far removed I am from that stage of life. Instead of feeling nostalgic, it all felt very foreign-- almost like that time in my life happened to someone else.  It was very weird to think that my life once revolved around my daughters' very basic needs: when she would eat, how much she ate, when she would sleep, what ended up in the diaper, and when would I have a chance to take a freaking nap and shower, for the love of God?!  It was kind of fun to listen to their talk and know that my "baby" can drive herself to school and lets me sleep through the night.  I have loved every stage that they have gone through...okay, that's a lie--a few of them kind of sucked at times.  I guess I can say that I "appreciate" every stage they have gone through because these are some awesome kids living in our house.  They are kind, they are funny as hell, and I like spending time with them.  I think they will go on to be pleasant adults who will raise more good people and that's important.  Now that the oldest is nearly 20, and the youngest is chomping at the bit to start drivers ed, I am becoming more aware that my future baby experiences are going to be as "Grandma". 

That's weird. 

Girls trip

I'm not very social.  I usually joke that "I don't like people."  While that's got a hint of truth to it, I think it's probably more fair to say that I am very choosy about the time I spend with people I didn't marry or give birth to.  I figure, I am away from my family for at least 40 hours a week.  Toss in the fact that two of my kids spend about half of their time with their dad, and my waking hours just got that much more precious.  Hubby and I need time--I learned a long time ago how important that is, so this means I am very reluctant to use the rest of my time with other people--no matter how much I like them.

Today was an exception.  My husband is one of five kids--he has three brothers and one sister.  His older brother (one of my high school best friends whom I met at age 8) married a girl from our high school who I really like, and his youngest brother just got married a little over a year ago to a sweet girl we all enjoy.  His sister was a year behind me in school, and she is one of the most loyal, good-hearted people I have ever known.  Years ago, we started a tradition of a girls day in Seattle to do some Christmas shopping.  We did it for a few years, but for one reason or another, we didn't go for the last five years or so.  We decided that it would be a good idea to go this year and today was the day.  We talked non-stop all the way to the mall--the trip felt like it took about 20 minutes.  We had a great time looking in all the shops, and laughed and shared all through our lunch.  It was a really good reminder to me of something I hadn't necessarily forgotten, but had lost track of, and it is this:  I love these women.  They are my family, they love all the same people that I do, and they mean the world to me.  We vowed to make this more of a priority and are going to try to work something in our schedule for spring.  It was a good day.

Okay, mushy stuff over--now let's talk about running.  I have made a decision:  I am going to do a half-marathon this summer.  I found a 12-week training program, and decided I would give it a try.  But since I'm kind of a weenie, I'm going to stretch it over 24 - 30 weeks instead.  I put a lot of effort into being a beast, but even after more than a year at this, I usually want to die about 2 1/2 miles in.  So wish me luck because now that I have said it out loud and put it in print, it's going to happen.  I'll keep you posted.

Dual Citizenship?

My husband and I ran away to Vancouver this weekend.  It was only a day, and it rained most of the time, but something about that city just...I almost said "rejuvinates" me, but that word has been ruined by a certain surgery and no longer applies in my vocabulary.  We had fun.  How's that?  I know it seems like we have been travelling a lot lately, and well...we have.  But we don't have a boat, we don't ski, we don't do much but watch football, Real Housewives, and do laundry so when the planets align and we get some time away without kid responsibilities, we go for it.  Plus, there is something very appealing about a weekend away without cell service.  We make eye contact.  We complete sentences!

I had a meeting on Saturday afternoon (I know--that's just WRONG on so many levels) so BR picked me up when it was done and we scooted on up across the border.  After the horrific shooting last week, we weren't sure what kind of delay we would have, but we only sat there for 5 minutes while I praised these men and women for coming to work when I would just want to pull the covers over my head and never go to work again.

We have a few rituals.  They are silly, but we ooze silly.  When we get to Surrey, we always say "Surrey" 3 or 4 times like we are apologizing with a Canadian "accent".  When we get to Granville St., BR likes to drive in the right lane as close to the lamp posts as possible which freaks me the F out.  When we get into town and start driving through the shops, I like to press my face against the window and lick the glass in anticipation of shopping.  Okay, that last one is a lie--I just do that in my head.

We stayed at a new place this time.  It was close to the stadium and not as deluxe as we usually score for cheap on Hotwire/Priceline, but safely out of the hobo/rent by the hour range and the soap was hermetically sealed so we were good.  We like to hit our favorite haunts, but we were in a different neighborhood than usual so we went someplace new for our first stop.  The following is a list of our favorite Vancouver spots.  This list is in no particular order, and I would like to stress that it took us 3 years to find these places, this is in NO WAY a representation of one night's crawl or I would be
D-E-D.  (spelling intentional)

Joey's on Burrard : (not to be confused with Joey's Bentall One which is kind of lame) Friday night is full of desperate 20 year olds and techno--Saturday night is cool.  Their Panang Curry, Rainbow Roll, and Sliders are favorites. 

Steamworks Brew Pub : Do yourself a favor and follow the link.  There is also a Steamworks Men's Bathhouse and you DO NOT want to open that website on accident.  This place has a great atmosphere, and their Dry Ribs, Fish Tacos and Nirvana Nut Brown Ale are pretty dang good.  Sit in the bar if you can.

Chill Winston : I'm pretty sure we aren't cool enough to go here, but they keep letting us in.  Have a glass of Blanche du Chambly, and the meat and cheese plate is always interesting (home of the musk ox).  Plus, check out the co-ed bathrooms.  Seriously.

Guilt and Co. : Located in the basement (read: cave) below Chill Winston, this place isn't big on food, but has a great bar, live music, and largest running Jenga game I've ever seen.  Plus, again--
co-ed bathrooms.

The Alibi Room : I almost didn't put this one because the night we were there, we didn't love it.  However, it get's rave reviews, featured on Zane Lamprey's show (and we luuuuurve him) and every time we ask our waiter for a recommendation, this is where they tell us to go.  We will try it again next time.

The Revel Room : Again, almost didn't list it due to the horrific service.  We showed up at 6:30 and after being ignored, the waitress finally agreed to seat us even though they had a party coming in at 8:00.  That being said, they had a really girlie drink called the Southern Belle that was more food than drink and quite yummy.

The Beaver and Mullet : Because you HAVE to go to a place with this name.  We stumbled across them for brunch one weekend.  We got inside and ordered their breakfast poutine and my life has not been the same since.  Plus, Ceasars.  That is all.

The Donnelly Group : I have to give a little shout out to this group.  They have multiple locations in Vancouver and seem to know how to tap into the neighborhood and create a place that reflects the vibe outside.  They are clean, the staff is always polite, and they have great appetizers.  We have never been to their nightclubs or "cocktail rooms" but the Public Houses are great.  Heck, they even have a cool barber shop.

We also like to shop.  No list necessary here.  Just hit Robson Street...and Granville St...and Granville Island...Just Go.  You can't really go wrong.

Around 3:30 on Sunday, we gave a deep sigh and realized we should probably go home to start preparing for the week.  We made it about 10 miles before we had our calendars out and were planning our next trip up there.  Vancouver rocks, eh?

Me-Hi-Co

Hubby and I just returned from a week in Mexico.  Everybody close your eyes, take a deep breath, and RELAAAAAAAAXXXX.  Yep.  That's how it felt for an entire week.  It was dee-lightful and I highly recommend it.  We stayed at the Riu Palace in Cabo and while they aren't paying me for this endorsement, they probably should because I am gonna lay it on THICK.  I should start at the beginning though...the airport.  SCARY.  I am really thankful that my husband and I had both done some research so we were prepared.  We did the whole line for customs thing, and it was really harmless, the lady smiled at us, asked us something super easy like "What did you have for lunch?" and stamped our passports.  Our bags were lined up and waiting for us, we went through a metal detector, and then we turned the corner of no return.  Literally, 25 people approached us in the course of a 50 foot walk to the door in an attempt to sell us time shares.  They didn't say, "Would you like a time share?"...no.  They pretended to be our ride to the resort, they told my husband he was going the wrong way, they tried to grab my paperwork out of my hands, they said they needed signatures...it was crazy.  If they had cameras, it would have been like what I imagine a trip to Spago is for Jennifer Aniston on a date. (does anyone go to Spago anymore, or just tourists in Ceasars Palace?).  We were cool (hubby wants to mess with them next trip--I say no), we made it to the doors where our airport transfer driver was waiting next to not one, but TWO bars with beer and margaritas.  I love Mexico.

We got to the resort:

 

and were greeted with some rum punch drinks, given our keys and some dinner reservations for the specialty restaurants.  I'm glad they did this at check-in because we were far too lazy to get up at the required 7:00am time to get reservations for the rest of the week.  Forget that noise--this is vacation! The first thing we noticed is how CLEAN this place is.  They have a huge staff and they are always cleaning something.  Everyone was very welcoming--not obnoxious and fake--genuinely nice and ready to help.  Our room down an open hallway and we were very pleased when we opened the door:  The woodwork was beautiful, our view was awesome, and then there was this little goodie:

Yes, our room had an alcohol dispenser.  I wish I could say we put it to good use, but neither of us drink hard alcohol.  It was neat, but sadly wasted on the two of us.  We had our swimsuits on in about 3 seconds and headed out to the pool. 

 

...where we stayed for the next week.  I kid you not.  The biggest decision we made all week was pool or beach, followed by sun or shade.  We laughed, we made eye contact and finished sentences, and I read 4 books that week.  We made friends with Cristobel--the waiter at the pool, and Miguel, the poor kid who worked in the lobby bar who was deported from an electrician job in North Carolina and can't see his daughter.  I only used my strightener once, and wore all my dresses and cute shoes.

 

We had massages on the beach, and ventured into Cabo a few times.  Checked out their mall (the restrooms are pretty impressive, I kid you not!) and ate at some of the restaurants in the marina.  We paid more than cover price for some paperbacks at the scariest drugstore I have ever been in.  Seriously, I wouldn't buy a pen from this place but we were desperate for reading material in English.  We took a water taxi from Leo, a cutie who gave a us a great tour around the arches and took my favorite picture of the whole trip:

 

 

Don't we look relaxed?! 

 

 

Greatest trip ever.  No contest.  Hands down.  If we could have flown our family down to be with us, we wouldn't have left.  Yes, that good.  Riu has resorts all over the world, and we were impressed enough to want to visit more of them.

 

So now my tan is fading, and I am back at work running numbers and starting to think about the budget for 2013.  But sometimes I close my eyes, and I can imagine myself back on the beach, watching the vendors try to sell their hats and sunglasses, and I can almost pretend I'm back there again. 



 

 

...and I will be.  That's a promise.

 

 

Call Lowes, Ask for Hal in Lighting...

The other day, I made a strange discovery.  I looked up the sale price of my first home on the assessor’s website because I couldn’t remember what we had sold it for.  (Don’t ask me why the sale price from 15 years ago was important information because I have no good reason other than I couldn’t remember and my brain cannot handle not knowing stuff…you can’t imagine how awful my life was pre-Google or “P.G.” as I refer to it.)  When I got to the site, it gave me the information I was looking for, but it also said that my home was bought and sold by not my first husband and I, but by my first husband and HIS CURRENT WIFE.  Um. No.  I then checked our next home…same thing.  Now, I don’t have a problem with his current wife—we actually get along pretty well—but I would have been irked if it was anybody’s name on the record other than my own.

I called a friend of mine who works for a title company.  I didn’t think she would be able to tell me what happened, but I knew she could point me in the right direction.  She agreed it was weird and advised me to call the Treasurer’s office.  I didn’t realize the can of worms I was opening.  Here is what followed:

 

1.        I called the Treasurer’s office and got K who informed me that they don’t handle that--I needed to talk to the auditor’s office—she transferred my call.

2.        The woman in the auditor’s office was CLUELESS and didn’t know how to even get on the assessors site to see the record (she literally told me she didn’t think she could access the site, so I offered to send her a link to this public site.)  Once she did, she kept spewing back information about the current owners.  CLUELESS I tell ya.  She told me to call the assessor’s office and hung up.   Apparently my amazement at her incompetency came through the phone and was not appreciated.

3.        I called the assessor’s office and got B.  B was funny—I liked him.  He felt bad that I had been shuffled but told me they don’t have any control over the data on their site (?!?) so I should call the recording department and maybe info services.  He gave me the direct line for info services and transferred my call to recording.

4.        S in recording sighed loudly and said no, they don’t do this--I needed the assessors department.  I told her I had already been there and what B had told me.  She told me B was wrong and good luck with Info Services.  Gee thanks.

5.        The lady at the Info services department didn’t have an answer either, but she took my name to ask her manager and said she would get back to me.  (3 days later, she has not.)  She also said she was pretty sure I needed the title company.

 

I would like to point out that I manage an office in a customer service industry.  Maybe this makes me hyper aware of the service I receive, but I can tell you that if any of my customers were ever shuffled around the bank the way I was shuffled around the county building, I would be appalled/furious.  Be helpful!  Take ownership!  FIX IT!  Sheesh! 

I’m just bummed my name wasn’t missing from the records back when the house payment was due.  When the mortgage company called, I could have told them “I don’t handle this, call the assessor’s office.”  Click. 

I’m now too grouchy to deal with this anymore.   

On a better note, I am continuing to run.  I don’t have a schedule, I pretty much do it whenever I can fit it in, and for the most part I have moved from a morning runner to an evening runner.  Morning, outdoor runs are still my favorite, but it requires me to drag my sleepy butt out of bed and that’s just not happening lately.  I am using my treadmill in the garage way more often than I planned to during our beautiful August and I think I may regret that when it’s raining sideways in November and I no longer have the option of running outside without drowning.

 

I did something new this week with my iFit on the treadmill and it just has me tickled.  iFit holds weekly competitions where you can log on and join a 5k or 10k.  The competitions are all over the US, and this week it was in Cheyenne, Wyoming.  You sign up for the race and it loads into your schedule as the next map to run.  You have a week to run it and it shows you on the map where the leader and the average runner are at any given time.  (i.e.  10 minutes into the run, there is a green dot showing where the fastest runner was at 10 minutes, where the average runner was at 10 minutes, and where you are in relation to those two at 10 minutes—even if the others had run the day before—does that make sense?).  You also have the option of running with a “street view” but then you can’t see the other dots for comparison.  When you are done with the race, you can go to a results page which posts how many people have run the race so far, their times, and your stats compared to theirs.  This changes throughout the week as other runners compete and then at the end of the week, they have a final tally.  I love it, and look forward to running a new 5k each week to prepare for the live races I will be doing in the upcoming months!

Funny Stuff...

I have a funny family.  My husband has a dry, sarcastic, very smart humor that has made me laugh since the day I met him 22 years ago.  I can recognize funny, but I don't usually have funny stuff coming out of me...unless it's completely by accident.  The writing is on the wall--our kids are going to be funny too. Our annual vacation is the one time a year when we get to have all 6 of us hang out together 24/7, and after everyone gets into relaxed, vacation mode, we laugh the entire time.  I look forward to that all year.  This year, I put an app on my phone so I could note the "funnies" as they happened.  I have to share with you:

**Our first night in Fremont, there was a VERY intoxicated Santa with a nasty beard doing a funky dance on the "dance floor".  He was feeling pretty good, and my children were watching with varying stages of shock, disgust, and a little bit of pity on their faces.  My husband leaned over to me and said, "Everyone says you're not supposed to smoke, drink, or do drugs, but look at Santa--he looks pretty good for 80 years old."  "Yeah, too bad he's 40."  Ba-dum-bum.  That was my one good response all week.

**When waiting for two of our kids to arrive via zipline, my daughters and I were standing near the arrival spot which just happened to be near a photo-op booth containing 2 Chippendales-ish men doing their best to charm every woman walking by.  My boy-crazy16 year old contained herself longer than I imagined before busting out with, "A man in a bow-tie, no shirt, and cuffs...that's my type."  Lord.  We're in trouble.

**We kept walking along, running into spaces where the air just smelled NASTY for a few feet or so, then it would go right back to normal.  My daughter made a comment and then one second later, my husband commented on these little spots of stink.  He nicknamed them "Shitghosts" because it was literally like walking through a smelly, nasty being for 2 seconds that would immediately disappear.  I am sorry to report that Vegas is full of Shitghosts.  I still love it.
**Our first night in town, we went out to dinner after sweating to death for about 5 hours.  Someone made a comment about how low-maintenance my son was--how he didn't ask for anything or have any major needs.  Without missing a beat, he leaned forward, put his chin on his hands and said, "Tell me I'm pretty."  He is.  We did.
**We were talking at dinner one night about how cool it would be if we could afford to take all 6 of us to a big show like Celine Dion, Bette Midler, or Elton John.  My oldest made a comment about how much she loved Elton John and how she loved that he was so flamboyant.  Our 15 year old says, "Wait, Elton John is gay?"  We all (including her younger brother) stared at her. 

**One of the highlights of our trip was visiting a good friend of mine that I have known since we were in middle school.  He has been nothing but welcoming of us whenever we come to Vegas, and while I have always loved him, I have come to adore his partner as well--they are good people through and through.  While visiting one day, he commented that he had used my (mom's) tanning lamp in high school and gotten a sunburn from it. (Backstory:  When I found this little gem in the 80's, I cleared out my walk-in closet, hung the lamp from a dowel, and made a comfy spot that my friends could use to come tan--sometimes they fell asleep.)  In response to his question, without even thinking about it, I asked him "Oh, were you in the closet?"  Then I kind of wanted to die for a second until he said, "Uh, yeah" and we all bust out laughing.  My dear friend, I adore you and everything you bring into our lives.  Never change.

On a side note:  my second-born got her drivers license today.  This makes me both terrified and elated.  On one hand:  someone to buy creamer after my bra is off for the day.  On the other hand:  the rest of the humans who now share the road with another one of my precious babies.  My kids are good drivers--trust me, if they weren't, I wouldn't set them free out there.  There are a lot of questionable people on the road who are not as careful, who spend more time looking at the phone in their hand than out the windshield (adults as well as kids--Quit texting while driving!!).  That makes me feel pretty helpless and 3 years after the oldest got her license, I assure you I never completely exhale until I know they are safely where they are supposed to be.  I swear it was only yesterday that they were begging me for dress up clothes and magic wands made from my wooden spoons.  Hug your babies and enjoy every minute of the kid chaos because soon it will be your turn to stand in line at the hardware store buying your teen her own key for the car. 

May you all enjoy a week without Shitghosts.

Vegas Baby!

As I mentioned earlier, we took the kids to a new vacation spot this year.  We have gone to Whistler BC for six of the past eight years and after getting rained on for a week straight last summer, we were all ready for some guaranteed sunshine.  We threatened taking them to Dino Town, then threw 'em a curveball and said we were renting an RV and driving around the US to see "Americana" (World's Largest Ball of Twine, anyone?).  My kids know me very well and saw through that one immediately...Mama Doesn't Camp.  Ever.  My husband and I go to Vegas at least once a year for classes (his--I shop) and felt like we knew the places that would be kid-appropriate while enjoying some sunshine in the desert. 

The day we arrived, it was 108 degrees.  Yikes.  We were spending the first night in Fremont because the condos we rented wouldn't be available until the following day and we wanted to show the kids the old-timey part of Vegas too.  We did not anticipate that Fremont had become as "colorful" as it has.  Wow.  We stopped and listened to a few outdoor concerts--some were pretty good, but it was the crowd that was an eye-opener for our sheltered, suburban kids.  You could easily pick out the people who were living on the streets with their demons and addictions--it was pretty sad.  We never felt scared, but it wasn't a place where we would let the kids wander without a parent.  We had been to a brewery with friends down there a few years before and took the kids there for dinner.  The food was great, the ambiance was relaxed with lots of tv's so we could catch up on the Olympics, and we were able to feed all 6 of us for less than $100.00.  Not an easy feat anywhere but especially in Vegas, so we went there for lunch the next day too.  Two of the kids did the zip-line under the big "screen"/ceiling, and we had a picture drawn of the four of them by a very talented guy in a booth.  Fremont was fun, but we were all ready to head to the strip the next day.

Our next location was beautiful--my husband had found the place on VRBO and it was a total score!  We had 2 adjoining penthouse suites in a building near the MGM Grand with full access to all of their amenities.  The MGM pools are amazing, and that was the kicker for us because our kids will spend hours in the water if we let them.  The next few days were filled with eating, swimming, shopping, and seeing the sights...oh, and more eating.  Wow.  We literally ate our way down the strip.  The kids loved looking at the different casinos, the shops in the Forum made our teen girls giddy (3-story H&M, anyone?) and it was so nice to be able to wear our summer clothes without carrying a sweatshirt along "just in case".  There was no just in case--even on the 2 cloudy days, it was 90 degrees.  We would be outside just long enough to get hot, then pop inside until we were cold.  I can't remember the last time I went a week without sleeves.  It was awesome.  The kids loved the Bellagio fountains--we sat through 6 of their shows.  My husband took one afternoon to do a "man-day" with our son and I took the girls to get their hair cut by a good friend of mine who works at the Christophe Salon in the MGM.  It was so cool to finally introduce my friend to our kids, and we all got great haircuts and had a nice visit to boot.  If you ever get the chance, you need to go here and ask for Campbell.  Best haircut you will ever have in your life--worth every penny.

I remember a few years back when the powers that be in PR tried to push Vegas as a place for families.  I scoffed--there was no way I was taking my kids to a place that had people handing out porn on the street corners.  Well, my kids are older now and I'm going to take that back.  While I probably wouldn't rush to take younger kids, it was the perfect spot to take teenagers for a week of fun and sun.  We are already talking about going back in two years, but my oldest will be 21 then and something tells me that could make for a very different vacation experience.  We'll see.

Uninspired

I know, I kind of disappeared for a little bit there.  I just really didn't have anything interesting to say, and my fear is that my rambling may literally induce some snoring from those of you kind enough to click on my link.  Busy?  Yep, but that goes without saying with all these kids and the one with four legs.  However, Busy does not equal Entertaining.  The pace has certainly gotten more tolerable without the school schedule but that won't last long.  It seems like the kids get out of school later and later in June, then start back up with sports and music "camps" (that's a fun word for "Required Practices During August") before the weather even fully turns summer-ish in our neck of the woods.  The next thing you know, it's time to send 'em back to class and we start on the hamster wheel all over again.  Wheeeeeeeee! 

So that being said, I don't have one single topic today but here are a few of my thoughts in no particular order:

Reading:  I read a lot of blogs--most of of them are "Mommy Blogs" and it occurred to me the other day how different my young-children-stay-at-home years would have been with a blog.  Hell, we only had the internet for a few of those years...and it was dial-up.  Positively archaic.  It would have been fun to write about the goofy things my kids were doing, and very nice to feel a sense of "community" without having to sit at the park.  I have noticed there aren't nearly as many blogs with moms of teenagers.  I think that's mostly because they are old enough to know the best way to pay us back if we write something they don't want shared in this forum.  You will not be reading about my children's potty schedule in this blog (but trust me--at least one of them has good material).

Running:  My deal of a treadmill turned out to have issues.  Thankfully, the guy I bought it from took care of me.  It had zero hours on it, so he registered the unit and used the warranty so I could get a new console.  This meant all the lights worked, but then my iFit module didn't work with the new console and frankly, I was ready to put the damn thing out on the street with a "Free to Good Home" sign.  My handy hubby is not only a fantastic chiropractor, but he takes care of the IT needs of all 3 offices, so I put him to work.  An hour later, he had figured out the bugs, and this morning I got up to a working treadmill with iFit.  I ran on the Amalfi Coast  (Holy Incline!) and tomorrow I'm going to allow The Idiot (but lets admit she has a rockin' bod) Elizabeth Hasselbeck put me through my paces.  I still love technology...I just love that someone I love knows how to make it behave.

Vacation:  Here is where I need a little input.  We are planning a trip to Mexico in the fall and every time I mention our destination to someone, they have looked at me like we're nuts.  Mexico has a lot of violence, I know, but we're planning on staying at an All-Inclusive resort in Cabo.  I feel like we should be safe, but I'm not willing to risk death for a tan and an in-room alcohol dispenser (SERIOUSLY, THIS IS A REAL THING!!!)  Disclaimer:  we don't even drink hard alcohol, but the idea of a dispenser in the room is gadget-y and cool.  I HATE the idea of letting fear rule my decision making.  But do I hate it more than the chance of orphaning our children?  Hell to the no.  Do I want to celebrate my husbands 40th birthday at the location of his choice?  Si.  What do you all know?  Are we going to make it home alive?

Age:  This part stinks.  I am seeing things happen that I don't want to face...(no pun intended)  Hair:  Graying.  I have dark hair that had a decent brown color until I had children.  Now?  Colorless and blah...just dark.  I highlight with blond religiously and will until I develop the nerve to go dark again.  I associate dark hair with a dark place in my life and avoid it like the plague...Minds are amazing.  Wrinkles:  Yeah, it's happening.  I'm dealing with it, along with other nasty skin stuff that I could do without.  Right now, I'm counting on Sephora to help me keep it in check, but I have a feeling I'm going to need to make friends with a good dermatologist soon.  As mentioned before, I don't think I will do Botox, but there has got to be something a little "friendlier" and less scary that I could start with.  Eyes:  Yeah, ummmm, I'm frickin' blind.  I opened a magazine this morning and could feel my eyes literally zoom in and out to try to focus on the tiny print.  F-Word.  I see readers in my immediate future.  Am I a little young for them?  Probably, but I also got my glasses at a young age and I'm blind as a bat without them.  If anyone will need readers early, it will be me.  Gravity:  I'm not gonna lie...everything is in a different place from where it started before pregnancy, nursing, and weight gain.  Oh, and cheerleading in a bad bra--pretty sure that did me no favors.  Oh, and the flat ass?  Not a fan.  Rest assured that there are lunges happening in my home on a regular basis.  It doesn't help that my husband is 40 but looks 25.  Dammit.

Okay, now something to make you cringe, giggle, and thank your lucky stars you weren't me this week...

The Dog: She ate (literally ingested) her rope toy last weekend.  It "sort of" made an appearance on Monday.  Someone had to help...that someone was me.  That is all.

My weekend of silence...

A few weeks ago, my husband announced he had to go to LA for training on new equipment they had purchased for the office.  Because I have a calendar looping in my brain at all times, I knew immediately that this was going to fall on a weekend that the kids weren't going to be home.  I never like it when he's traveling, but I am going to admit at that moment the clouds parted, the sunshine burst through and the angels let out with a loud "Hallelujah!" because I realized that for 48 hours, I would have the entire house to myself.  Not only would I get alone time, I would get alone time with NO schedule.  Oh. My. Gosh.  What would I do with myself?  Nothing.  That's what.  I could hardly wait.  I composed myself, said "Oh shoot, honey", and then went into the garage where I could do a little dance without hurting anyone's feelings.  I'm not one of those people that needs other humans and activity at all times.  Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and family--wouldn't trade 'em for the world, but silence and stillness make me giddy when they happen as infrequently as they do in our household.  I was going to savor this.

Friday was the day everyone was heading out, and while I didn't have any concrete plans for myself, I knew that I would have plenty of time to do whatever I wanted.  I came home from a long day at work, changed my clothes and went for a short, crummy run.  It was muggy, I was tired, but I did it purely for the satisfaction of knowing I didn't sit on my ass ALL weekend.  When I came back in the house, I took a good look around at the state of my beautiful home.  Blech.  I often say that by Friday, our house looks like Bangladesh.  Gravity must be particularly strong here as most items we have touched throughout the week are on the floor. I didn't have the energy to clean the whole house, but I figured I could at least make one room perfect...I just wouldn't go in the other rooms until tomorrow.  Cleaning and exercise out of the way, I checked the fridge to see if I needed to run to the store.  Nope, honey had taken care of me once again and made sure I had everything I needed.  God, I love that man!  I shared an apple with the dog, ate some cheese and crackers, and watched crap tv for an hour before deciding it wasn't embarrassingly early to crawl into bed.  I swear, I may be 42 on the outside, but my soul is 80.  I had told the kids that I would sleep with the dog in my daughter's bed this weekend (no dogs allowed in our room, and I felt bad sticking her in her crate for the night) so Elle and I got comfy and I read for a bit before turning out the light.  About an hour later, I woke to a noise SO LOUD, I thought someone was driving a train into the room.  Did I mention the dog is an English Bulldog?  Did you know they snore louder than any human on the planet?  Good Lord, she was loud...and hogging the bed.  I am possibly the best sleeper I know, but there was no way I was going to be able to get through the night like this.  I had to wake her up and get her downstairs to her crate so I could crawl into my own bed and get some sleep.  This is no easy task because Elle doesn't like to wake up.  Even after I got her off the bed, she would just lay down in the hallway and glare at me for disturbing her.  I couldn't bribe her with a treat--her stomach doesn't do well with midnight snacks and I sure as hell wasn't setting myself up for that cleaning task.  I couldn't even resort to carrying her because she weighs 50+ pounds (my delicate little flower) and my shoulder can't do that yet.  Finally, with a lot of coaxing, I got her down the stairs and into the crate and I collapsed in bed ready to sleep through to a lazy morning.

Wrong!  Saturday at 7am, my internal alarm goes off and I am wide awake to rain falling outside.  Okay, I can deal with this, rain is peaceful...roll over and go back to sleep.  Nope.  7:15, I'm up and pushing the coffee button as fast as I can. I sat browsing the web and finished my book.  Answered a few texts and then visited with daughter #1 when she stopped by to get ready for work.  I should go be useful now.  Took a shower, got cards and bags for Fathers Day gifts, shopped for lunch and dinner (we are daily shoppers--never stop by unannounced or I will offer you salad dressing and BBQ sauce as that's about all we have in the fridge).  Came home and tried to watch a movie.  I say "tried" because 10 minutes in my ADD kicked in and I paused the movie to clean the kitchen.  I watched about 20 minutes more then paused to start the laundry.  Finished the movie because I want to be Katherine Heigl in my next life and her co-star looks like 1980's Aiden Quinn--yumm.  Dinner of fruit and wine and...damn...too early to go to bed.  Okay, let's see what we have on OnDemand
 ... Gene Simmons Family Jewels it is!  They're married now and Shannon wants to adopt--Wait a minute...is that her sister Tracy?  What happened to her face?!?  Why aren't they addressing this?  It's all flat and she's practically unrecognizable!   I can't watch this dreck.  Elle is bored.  I bought her a huge Busy Bone but she has abandoned it and is pacing around the house looking for more interesting family members.  Sorry Elle--just me.  A few more dumb shows and it's time to hit the hay with my new issue of Vanity Fair.  Kristin Stewart is on the cover looking a little zombi-fied.  (I keep reading her name as "Schtewart" like "Megamind" because I'm a dork.)  Okay, time for sleep.

Sunday morning: 5:46am--No.  Not happening.  Go back to sleep.  Okay, 8:22--much better.  Get up, coffee, breakfast, sit for 3 hours watching HGTV and TLC because remember, the house is already clean, and I finished my book.  Kind of missing my family now.  Plus, how many episodes of Toddlers and Tiaras can you watch before you have to officially call it a problem? 

I won't bore you with the next 6 hours.  Suffice it to say that I didn't solve any world issues or cure cancer.  Every time I thought, "I should go..." or I should do...", I would remind myself how precious this quiet time was and how ticked I would be with myself later if I filled it with noise. 


I went to work the next morning and listened to everyone's stories about their BBQ's, Graduation Parties, and Fathers Day events and was thrilled to be able to share that I did Absolutely Nothing...and loved it!

It's Madness, I tell you...

I have been having the same conversation with a lot of different moms lately regarding the hectic pace of the end of the school year.  Who decided that the last 3 weeks of the school year meant that our children need activities, concerts and field trips every moment of every day?  Do you people not remember March?  We had a whole lotta free time then people!   Let's sprinkle in an outing or a fundraiser to break up the monotony.  But nobody asked me.  Our kids aren't those overloaded children with 6 activities each either, but since there are four of them it adds up pretty quickly.

Last week, one daughter began her season of cheerleading with a daily practice.  This week, we added to the fun by loading her up with drivers ed.  (Yes, we chose this class--it was either sign her up now or Grandma's going to be driving her around until college.) After we throw in travel time, this means she has about an hour a day in which to eat, do her homework, and make eye contact with the family.  Another daughter is very active in the music department at school.  We had the end of the year band concert last week and the end of the year choir concert last night.  Both were amazing--we have such a great music program and these kids are so talented! That being said, I don't enjoy eating dinner at 10pm, and my girl was so tired, there were tears.  My oldest loved band so much that she joined a community band in a town half an hour away where she attends college, so we had a concert last week and another one this week.  The band includes people of all ages and they are really good--plus, you can tell that they are having a great time with it and that makes it even better.  But again...half an hour away, at night, after work.  I know the youngest has a science fair coming up but he takes after his father and is very stingy with details so I'm pretty sure we will learn about it at 11pm the night before he has to arrive at the school an hour earlier than usual.  And I'm sure he will need to show up in a new, freshly ironed outfit and a working model of a flux capacitor.

In the meantime, I work full-time, and hubby has his practice in another town and is in the process of opening another one.  He does all of the grocery shopping and all of the cooking--yes, he is AWESOME.  He is also wonderful about jumping in when he can to pick up, drop off, or attend, but like many dads, he counts on me to tell him who, what, when, and where.  This means that I have a day planner running 24/7 in my brain to make sure we don't miss anything.  This is not a good thing at 4 in the morning.  I have found that my spouse does not appreciate it when his alarm goes off and before he can hit the button, I have reminded him to pay the camp deposit and asked when I need to pick up his dry cleaning.  His response has usually been to clamp his hand over my mouth, while mumbling "No talkie, Woman"...which is a lot nicer than my response would be if the situation were reversed. 

Underlying all of this whining is my frustration at wanting to be everywhere, do everything, and support everyone at the same time even though I know it's impossible.  I also know I am not alone in this and that makes it better.  So to all of you who ate your dinner off a paper plate over the sink at 10pm last night while writing a check for lunch money and ignoring your spouse: the end of the school year is just around the corner and you can rest assured that those same kids are going to be bored to tears in less than a week.

Ahhh, Technology!

Well, I did it...I bought a treadmill.  I run outside 99% of the time and I love the fresh air, the sounds of the birds, and getting a feel for the happenings in my neighborhood.  I just find it peaceful.  Sadly, I live in the Pacific Northwest, so I also find it cold and wet most of the time.  A little cold and wet is okay, but our schizo weather is not to be trusted and I have been caught in more than one "monsoon", as well as frozen my toukas off when it was down in the 40 degree range this winter.  That being said, I still had no plans to buy a treadmill because I know me:  I would want the zippy, spendy one with all the gadgets and that's just not in the budget.  Or so I thought.  Turns out I know a guy.  Without selling an organ, I am now the proud owner of a truly cool machine and have run this week in Paris, Central Park, and the Vegas strip...all without leaving the garage thanks to Ifit and GoogleMaps.  I have logged way too much time designing my own running routes all over the globe.  This week I have Hawaii, Beverly Hills, and Sidney...maybe I'll stop by 42 Wallaby Way. I will still do most of my running outside, but I am finding that I really like having the option.  Oh, and BONUS:  we had to clean the garage before it was delivered and I was able to take 3 truckloads of stuff to Goodwill.  I love purging.

I told my physical therapist yesterday that I want to break up.  I just feel like I'm done with going in every week to do the same damned exercises I do every day at home.  They have been WONDERFUL and taken such great care of me, but I feel like I need to move on.  It's not them...it's me.  I have one more visit in 2 weeks with the big guy there, then another visit with my surgeon, and then I think I can probably put this whole shoulder thing behind me.  I'm not 100%, but I'm probably 85-90% and I'm okay with that.

This is a momentous week for others in my household:  Child number 3 got her drivers permit on Friday and begins drivers ed classes on Monday...consider yourself warned.  Next week is big for another reason as Child number 2 turns 16 and will be able to get her driver's license, carry her cell phone, and be allowed to date.  Yes, we are those mean parents that make them wait to date and I think it's one of the best rules we have.  They are spared a lot of drama so they can spend a few more years focused on growing into confident people who will be better equipped to handle a relationship when it happens.  Oh, and just for the record--I met my husband when he was 14 and I was 16...and I told him I wouldn't date him until he was 16.  So there you go.

We are counting down to our summer vacation but we're keeping our chosen location a secret from the kids until everything is reserved.  Until then, we keep telling them we are heading to "Dino Town"   (a location better suited to 4 year olds) and we're playing that schtick as long as we can because we're evil and like to mess with them.  This is payback for sleepless nights and spit-up on all our clothes,  it's our due and it's FUN! 

Hail, Caesars!

I went running this morning.  It was Week 5, Day 3 of my Couch to 5K program (I started over at week 3 after surgery...don't judge) so I knew I had a 20 minute, nonstop run ahead of me and it kind of made me want to pee my pants.  I mapped it all out with the intention of hitting 2 miles in that time (I am so not there yet) and waited for the perfect morning to hit the road.  In order for this story to have any impact at all, I have to tell you that I don't usually listen to music when I run.  I did when I first started, but then a friend of mine who runs every day says she runs without headphones so she can hear cars and dogs and anything else that might be lurking around her when she's out.  (My brain went to "serial killers" of course.)  That freaked me out so I promptly began leaving my (brand new, totally cool) headphones at home.  This morning though, I set my new phone to play music with the C25K program, made a running playlist, and popped in only one headphone.  Tah Dah!  Exercise without the fear of early-morning dismemberment!  I put the playlist on shuffle and headed out the door.

(Completely unrelated sidenote:  I left the house about 5 minutes after 14 year old boy-child left to walk to school.  At one point in my warm up walk, I was directly across the street from him and he was facing me with 2 of his friends.  I jokingly waved and called his name in my best "Yoo Hoo" voice and the kid COMPLETELY ignored me and turned the corner.  It wasn't an angry thing, it was as if my hot-pink jersey'd being did not even exist on the other side of the road.  Really?  He is so getting kissed in public at the next opportunity.  Any other embarrassing ideas are welcome, and please know that I have no shame.)

I finished the first mile and walked for 2 houses.  I didn't want to lose too much momentum, so I picked it back up right away.  I made it about halfway back and was starting to get a teeny tiny bit ready to be done when the song "Jerk It Out" by the Caesars came on.  I was wondering if I was going to be able to complete my 20 minutes when the line "I'll be running circles around you sooner than you know" came on.  Oh, okay.  That's good.  Keep Running.  I tune out a little again, and then the lyric "cause it's easy once you know how it's done, you can't stop now it's already begun" comes on and I find my inner beast and not only finish the 20 minute, but run for 2 minutes more to complete the 2 mile course for bragging rights. Truthfully, I don't even want to know what the song is about (I suspect a bit of ewww-factor in there), but those two lines were just what I needed at just the right time so I will be running with one headphone from now on.  And pepper spray.

Help me complete my playlist, please?  What songs do I need to make my run better?

Bangs or Botox?

I didn't come up with that title--it's actually a "thing".  I will give you a moment to Google it...seriously, go ahead.  A friend of mine recently got bangs (they're cute!) because her stylist told her "after 30, it's bangs or Botox".  I had never heard that before, and haven't had true bangs in 10 years.  I must be out of the loop because I thought we weren't supposed to have bangs after age 5.  My stylist gave me so much crap 10 years ago I guess I just never recovered.  So who makes these rules?  And why do I care?  That's it--screw them, I don't care.  Except yes I do...I care...dammit.  I know I don't like the horizontal age reminders that appear on my forehead everytime the sun comes out or I'm confused...or can't see...or hear...okay just way too often.  I just wish I had known in my 30's that I needed to be proactive.  I was just too busy USING Pro-Activ on my stupid acne that I had no clue I was also supposed to be fighting wrinkles and lines and other stuff that wasn't there yet.  Ugh.  Being a woman is exhausting.  I would warn my daughters, but I have a feeling they will pay attention as well as I did (not) at that age.  I will say that as much as I joke about getting Botox or surgically putting parts of me back where they used to be, I just don't have it in me to fight aging that way.  (However I do not judge those who do--to each his/her own)   I will exercise, I will eat right, and I will keep Victoria's Secret, but I will accept the passing of time without surgery or injections, with as much grace as I can muster...and I guess with bangs.

Back to work...

Day 1:  What on earth made me think I could just pull up my big girl panties and head to work without turning into a complete wet noodle by 3pm?!    My body was yelling, "Hey Dumbass, you just spent 6 weeks in your chair--take it easy."  but I covered my ears, closed my eyes and shouted, "LA LA LA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!" and skipped back to work.  I seriously think a part of me thinks I am invincible.  More like suffering from a bad case of denial.  In hindsight, putting in 2 extra hours my first day back was a DUMB MOVE.  Why I didn't see that coming is beyond me--wouldn't any normal, intelligent person know this?  Anyhoo, I sat at my desk with my shoulder at a weird angle, answered emails, put out fires, and read banking updates for more than 8 hours then came home surprised that I was tired and sore, plugged in my heating pad, ate dinner and fell asleep before my children.  (as in "earlier than" not "in front of")

Day 2:  I did it again and planned more *&^% to do after work next week...because I am a yes girl.

Day 3:  My boss called and was surprised I was still there.  Apparently she knows me better than I know myself and assumed I would hit it so hard the first few days that I would need to take more time off.  Lordy.

Day 4:  Feeling a little more normal.  I got a new treat to make my desk more ergonomic, met with some prospective clients and felt like I didn't have to fake the smiles quite as much.  Things are looking up.  I vaguely remember "normal".

Day 5:  I have never woken up thinking TGIF as vehemently as I did on this Friday.  Spent my lunch hour at PT (read: pain and yogurt for lunch) but got some really positive feedback so all in all it was a good day.  Went home and slept for 12 hours straight.  Methinks I needed it.

I'm feeling a bit more positive and decided it's time to choose the events in my life again rather than just let it happen to me.  So...I have a plan for tomorrow morning.  I don't want to disclose too much because my big mouth got me in trouble last time, but it involves a good pair of shoes and some headphones.  I need this.  I will let you know how it goes.